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Health and Wellness

An Open Letter To Headaches

Keep your powers of pain and discomfort to yourself.

Alex Rice

Jan 12, 2016

Johns Hopkins University

202

Cartoon Stock

Dear Headaches,

You have been a big part of my life for years now. I don’t know what I would do without you. Perhaps I would have more energy to finish my homework without your presence and I wouldn’t get as distracted during finals or while writing that paper. Or maybe I would be able to stay happy, or, at least, content while I waitress, as opposed to putting my energy into ignoring your annoying existence.

I feel you banging against my temples, my forehead, even the top of my skull at times, and I think I speak for all of us when I demand to know what you want. Are you just insecure, like an emotional two-year-old, so you make yourself known to get attention? Or maybe you are actually cruel, and you like to cause us pain. Whatever the case, you are simply receiving hatred and disgust from everyone who feels you.

It’s difficult to concentrate whenever you appear. While it’s possible to persist, to keep reading or writing or working, you make the work take twice as long. How can we think efficiently when it seems like our own thoughts are rebelling against us?

The thoughts hurt our heads as we struggle through yet another page of problem sets, and we simply want to release the stranglehold we had to wrestle our brains into in order to keep focusing while you are hurting them.

I understand that everyone gets lonely sometimes and that attention can be a balm for the soul, but the emotions people feel towards you range from anger to weariness. It would be far better to simply leave our tired heads as we try to memorize that last page at 2:00 a.m. before the test at 10:00 a.m.

You would be doing all of us a favor, and you would be much more popular if you simply didn’t exist at all. People would sign happily and say, “I haven’t gotten a headache in so long and it feels fantastic,” as opposed to what they’re saying now… “This headache is killing me,” and, “I hate headaches more than anything.”

So no offense, but please just keep your powers of pain and discomfort to yourself from now on. We will like you much better for it.

Sincerely,

The human population

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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