To the guys who only date Asian girls,

Why do you open up the conversation with "I only date Asians" as if that is supposed to help your chances with me? I don't find it flattering that the only reason you decided you wanted to talk to me was the color of my skin and the shape of my eyes. You don't know me, but you feel like you do because of the stereotypes you associate with Asian women. You will soon learn that I don't meet your expectations, and be disappointed.

You may expect Asian women to be quiet and submissive, small and thin. We come in various shapes and sizes and do not conform to your cookie cutter mold for your perfect Asian girl. Do not expect me to be small and meek when interacting with you. Instead, expect an outspoken girl who is more than the stereotypes that surround her. My Asian sisters and I know what your misconceptions of us are from your media that you love so much. We are aware we are more than what you expect us, what you want us to be. We will not let the media define our actions with you, and we will be as authentic as can be.

Speaking to me in Korean does nothing to give you an edge. We live in America, and I speak English. The fact that you would assume I speak Korean also goes to show your preconceived notions of me. I am not some exotic treasure you found and get to keep. I was born here. I am just as American as you are.

Romanticizing an entire race is not attractive to me. Your idea of me does not make me your perfect match. By saying you only date Asian girls, you're saying that the only reason you're interested in me is that I come from a far off exotic land you have spent years studying through Korean dramas. You're saying you don't care about the things that make me who I am. I love spicy foods, and I hate country music. I love to write, and I'm passionate about social issues and fighting for justice. You wouldn't care to learn any of those things about me if I wasn't Asian. The funny thing is, I am defined by my passion more than the genetics I just so happened to receive.

Having a type is perfectly fine. However, if the only prerequisite for you talking to me is the fact that I'm Asian, that is not okay. I shouldn't have let guys believe that this is okay. I know better now, so here is my last thing I have to say to guys who only date Asian girls.

I am not your geisha, China Doll, Asian fetish. My walls are as high and as strong as the Great Wall when you tell me all about your yellow fever. This isn't Mulan; I don't need a dragon to protect me. I am my own warrior in this battle against racism and fetishization of Asian women.

Sincerely,

The Korean girl you'll never have a chance with

P.S. I hope your perspective changes, I truly do. When that happens, you can open yourself to genuine relationships based off of things that matter. I wish you the best.