Dear girlfriends,
I know we all love being in a relationship. Having someone who loves us and cares for us is one of the greatest feelings in the world. Dating your best friend comes with many perks, but let us be careful to not become expectant of all of his kind gestures. I don't mean the long hugs or back rubs after a long day, boyfriends should always help a girl out in that department. What I mean is we have to stop assuming our boyfriend is going to pick up the tab at every dinner out, or each time that you walk into a store he's going to buy you whatever you want. Yes, this is much easier said than done, I am 10000% aware, as I recently was lucky enough to travel with my boyfriend, Joe, to Florida together for one week. One week is a long time as a college student to be financially responsible for yourself in terms of food and anything extra you want to buy, like maybe everything from Urban Outfitters. It becomes even more difficult when there are two of you.
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As the reality came over me of how much we would be spending during the week, I knew I couldn't let my boyfriend pay for everything. Regardless of the situation, I do not actually like when my boyfriend pays for every meal out. If he paid each time we went out I would feel like he was doing it because he had to, that it is what society expected him to do. I prefer when we take turns treating each other in no particular order. I like making Joe happy and food makes him extra happy, so I'd buy him all the food in the world if I could. Since I can't though, I just randomly insist that I want to buy lunch or ice cream or whatever. On the flipside, I get to feel special when Joe does the same for me, because I know he is doing it because he truly wants to. These were the cases when we were at the beach. Then, there were the other times where we had to be mature and discuss who is going to pay for this meal, or maybe we should go cook something instead. It was very much give and take, which is what I believe a good working relationship looks like.
The other issue I struggle with is walking into a store and getting my hopes up when my boyfriend is out shopping with me. I do not know how I do it, but I can find something that is, "sooo cute!!" in practically every shop. Then I try to drop "subtle" hints how much I love it and have to have whatever I've managed to find. 99.9% of the time I walk out the store empty handed. While in Florida, I tried to weasel my way into getting everything from dresses to a Tiffany ring (no, not that kind of ring, just a cute one I've been eyeing for a while). Each time I left the store feeling a little bit empty. It wasn't until after the whole ring fiasco that I realized I had to stop this. After a few text messages to my BFF from home, I quit the whining for the week. First of all, I was in sunny Florida with my boyfriend. That should have been enough right there. Second of all, we had to be financially aware of what we were spending because we had meals to consider. Thirdly, Joe is the kind of person who is so good at speaking his mind. I never go more than a few hours without being reminded how much I am loved. That is priceless.
So ladies, as hard as it may be to stop getting our hopes up, we have to work on it. The more we expect our boyfriends to shower us with gifts, the less fun it is when they actually do. We should spend more time appreciating the things they already do for us. Let's work on this together. When we inevitably do slip up and make a scene when something did not go our way, remember to own up and apologize. Hopefully we can prove to the next generation of girlfriends that giving is just as fun as receiving.
Best of luck and just remember, no matter how much money your boyfriend does or does not spend on you does not determine how much he loves you at all.
