“It’s one of my theories that when people give you advice they’re really talking to themselves in the past.”
An Open Letter to the Girl Who Can’t Let Go,
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I know that you love him, and that you love him more than you’ve ever thought possible. I know that you can’t go a day without thinking about him, from the minute you wake up until you finally fall asleep to thoughts of his face. I know that he’s all you can talk about. I know that the mere thought of him distracts you and consumes your every thought. I know that your mind comes up with all these different scenarios that will never happen, but you always hope will. I know that he might have feelings for you that he does not act upon, but that you think it is enough for you to hold on. I also know that this entire time you have been reading this, only one person comes to mind. But I also know that you say time and time again that you’re going to let go, but can’t. I know all of these things because, I am a girl who can’t let go.
I didn’t mean for it to happen. You have to believe me, I never wanted this. I never wanted to feel so hopeless, so alone, and yet so stuck in love. I didn’t mean to get so attached to him that the mere thought of letting go destroys me. We never see it coming either. You always meet them at the weirdest time in your life, when you aren’t even looking. You swear to your friends that no boy will get in your way this year, and they roll their eyes. We genuinely believe in ourselves, and try our best. But one day, it all changes. For me, it was the day we met. I had just gotten to a place in my life where I fell in love with myself, and wasn’t looking to fall in love with anyone else. I didn’t even realize it, but from the moment I met him, it was just always him from then on. Funny enough, I started talking to him to humor the idea of getting over someone else, nothing serious. I’ll never forget it, on the first day we met when we listened to that one song together, the first time he showed me a little piece of him. I hear that song come on while I'm driving and all I do is want to drive to where he is. But I can't, because I need to let go.
I never expected it to go this far. Sure, I could daydream about cute boys all day, and maybe even go on a date here and there, but falling hopelessly in love was not a part of the plan. It happened slowly, but then all at once. I fell in love with his eyes, even when they were looking only at other girls. I fell in love with his smile, even when it made me cry. I fell in love with his laugh, even when he laughed at the idea of us. I fell in love with his charming personality, even when he used it on everyone but me. I fell in love with him, even when he didn't fall in love with me. That was the hardest part for me, realizing that I needed to let go. I always had hope. But to finally know he will never love me, or at least love me enough, it was the most relieving and devastating thing I have come to realize.
I need to let him go. You need to let him go. It may be one of the hardest things you have to do, but you need to forget about the boy who forgot about you. Letting go is painful and it is so damn hard, but you deserve all the love in the world. You deserve to be loved the way that you love. He knew how I felt, but that didn't seem to matter to him. He didn't love me, and his actions made that clear. Or maybe he did, but he couldn't handle it, but what matters is what he did about his feelings and that was nothing but hurt me.
You should never settle for anything less than amazing and passionate love. Love isn't when someone doesn't care about how you feel, and does whatever anyway. Love isn't staying up wondering why they didn't text you back, or why they aren't checking up on you. Love isn't listening to sad songs over and over again until you've either run out of tears or fallen asleep. That is not love. Do not let your feelings for him make you worth any less than you are. You will get through this. One day, you will be the same person you were before you fell so hard for him. Let him go.
"Eventually one of two things will happen; either he'll realize you were worth it, or you'll realize he wasn't."
Love,
A Girl Trying to Let Go
"See there's a chance in never knowing, there's a hope in holding on. To finally know you'll never love me, if I'm honest, that's what breaks my heart."
