Dear former friend,
Once upon a time, we were almost inseparable. There was a time when you were on my speed dial, and we texted each other all the time. I still have pictures of you on my phone. There was a time when we were all over each other's notifications. There was a time when you would come to my events and cheer me on, and I would come to yours and do the same. We may never have been best friends, but we were close. You knew some of my secrets and I knew some of yours. We've cried together, laughed together, sang together. We had movie nights and took road trips.
But at some point, things changed. If I said I knew exactly why they did, I'd be lying. I wish I did know. It would be easy to play the victim, to blame you for everything, but to do that would also be a lie. In reality, I know that we were both to blame.
There may not be one specific event that separated us, but I'm sure that we both were at fault. Maybe you'll read this, and if you do let me tell you now that I couldn't be more sorry for whatever I did to contribute to the end of our friendship. It is hard to believe, but maybe this is for the best. No matter our intentions, our friendship wasn't working anymore, and maybe we are better for letting it go.
Friendships aren't solid things. They bend and stretch as we grow and change, and they often don't have concrete beginnings or endings. One day we were talking, texting, calling; and the next we weren't. Conversations became strained. We didn't text as often. We stopped calling each other, and we stopped inviting each other to hang out. Suddenly, you were no longer where you were. I still cared, I still wanted you to be in my life, but I didn't know how to reach out to you and in complete honesty, I didn't want to be the first to do it.
Maybe I didn't want to seem weak or needy. Maybe I didn't want to force you into a friendship I didn't feel like you wanted to be a part of. But maybe you didn't either. Defining why our friendship faded won't solve anything (something it has taken me way too long to realize). It's not simple or definite, but regardless of how or why, our friendship slowly died.
In the time since, I've spent too much time trying to figure it out, trying to think of a way to save us. Eventually I have come to the conclusion that no matter how much you want it to, some things won't work out.
If we become friends again, I will be glad and grateful for you. But if we don't, I will be okay.
I am not going to force myself into your life, but I will never stop supporting you. I will never stop caring about you, and I wish the absolute best in the world for you. I wanted our friendship to last, but it seems it has run its course. Blaming you for everything will only make me bitter and serve no real purpose.
I hope that your life is all that you want it to be. Even if you aren't now, you were a big part of my life and I will always have happy memories of you. The most important thing I want you to know is that you will always be special and important. Remember to believe in yourself.
Love,
Me