This summer, I spent almost every weekend and nearly every weeknight umpiring girls’ fastpitch softball. I played the game myself for eleven years, including a year in college. This was my first summer not being eligible to play (having aged out), which allowed me to umpire more often. Now, I’ve been a registered sports official for four years, and I have seen some aspects of the game that make me sad. It has less to do with the athletes themselves and more to do with the coaches and parents.

I’m going to tell you, parents, something you may not want to hear but really need to. Your daughter is a ten-year-old, not a major-league baseball player. As much as you want your daughter to be the next Jennie Finch, she’s not there yet. She’s ten. Please, don’t push these young athletes so far at such a young age. Coaches, don’t scream at them for every little mistake they make. It breaks my heart to hear a girl get yelled at for letting a ground ball go between her legs and finish the rest of the inning crying at the shortstop position. Be supportive and be encouraging. Coach them, don’t scream at them.

On the other end of the spectrum, you should also have respect for your officials. Listen, I’m human. I make mistakes. I’m not going to get every single call right one hundred percent of the time. I will do my very best, but sometimes that just may not be good enough for you. I promise when I don’t call that outside pitch that may have hit the front corner of the plate for your daughter pitching, it’s not the end of the world. One close call will not cost you the game.

As I said, I played competitive softball for eleven years. I could probably only tell you about a handful of the games I played in. However, I could talk your ear off about the life lessons I learned and the friendships I created through athletics. Sports taught me responsibility. If I struck out, that was my fault, not the umpires. If it was a pitch close enough for them to call a strike, I probably should have swung at it. If I walked a girl on a pitch that I thought should have been called a strike, then it was my fault for throwing three other balls before that. If I got thrown out at first on a boom-boom play, I should have run faster or hit the ball harder.

Becoming an umpire has completely changed my view on youth sports. I am seeing more often than not that sometimes the parents and coaches want it more than the athletes do, especially the younger ones. Sometimes that causes parents to act irrationally. Myself and other officials have all shared stories about the nasty things parents and coaches have yelled at us. I personally have had a coach get so far in my face that my partner ran across the field to me because he thought the coach had hit me (that was a twelve and underclass “C” game). In one instance at a state tournament this summer, the police were called to escort umpires out to their cars because parents were so angry that they were worried someone was going to get physically hurt.

This trend of getting angry at youth sports games is one that needs to end now. I don't want to have to eject anyone from a game, parent or coach, but I will if necessary. The mean comments are unnecessary. I don't care how bad you think that call was, it won't be the end of the world. Telling me I'm blind, or saying I don't know the rules when I read the rule book twice a year (which you should all do sometime), is disrespectful.

Youth sports are supposed to be fun and build character. No one wants to spend their weekends surrounded by negativity. So please, coaches and parents of young athletes, rethink your approach. Respect your officials. Remember that not every game is game seven of the World Series. You should want to have fun just as you should want your kids to. After all, that’s what it’s all about.