To Abused Partners,
I'm sorry.
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I won't wear this again.
It's my fault. Always my fault.
Do these words come out of your boyfriend's or girlfriend's mouth often? It could very well mean that you are being abused. It's okay to admit that they have a jealousy issue, but sometimes, it is too much to demand. According to Love Is Respect, an organization that advocates for people in abusive relationships, "College students are not equipped to deal with dating abuse – 57% say it is difficult to identify and 58% say they don’t know how to help someone who’s experiencing it." Are you one of the people who add to these statistics?
Controlling issues can stem from almost anywhere. In this day and age, with the access to internet and social media, it can be easy to have trust issues, which then transfers over to controlling your partner. The arguments are not worth it because they liked someone's picture, or became friends with someone new. It is healthy to have more friends to talk to. If you're being told who you can and can't talk to and feel guilty about it, you're being abused.
Abuse doesn't always have to be physical. It can be sexual or emotional. Personally being in the victim's shoes, I understand that it is hard to see the signs, even though they are all there. The constant arguments and crying eventually became too much. At first, it may seem like they are trying to care and look out for you, but there's a line that cannot be crossed. From the outside, it is hard to understand why the abused won't leave. It seems almost obvious that they should leave but until you are inside the shoes, it isn't as easy as it seems. The good seemingly outweigh the bad.
If you're being abused, I highly urge you to talk to someone and safely get out. There are many resources that are willing to help you. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233. It is completely confidential and they will help you find a solution. As Jane Green said it best, “... you don't have to wait for someone to treat you bad repeatedly. All it takes is once, and if they get away with it that once, if they know they can treat you like that, then it sets the pattern for the future.”
With All My Love,
Lena Nguyen
