You were my first best friend, you were my first follower and you were the first person I never wanted to let down.
We used to sit in your bedroom, in our underwear, and play Barbies till it was time for bed. And when bedtime came around, we wouldn't want to lay down because we weren't done playing yet. We would play dress up for hours and always get into trouble together.
We would move our beds into the same room, without telling our parents, so we could be closer. And when our parents found out and made us move back to our own rooms, we made up knocking codes so when you knocked on my wall once I knew you were saying "hi."
As we got older, we grew apart, I would leave in the middle of us playing Barbies because I got bored. I started dating and no longer wanted to knock on the walls to tell you "hi" or move our beds together, because I didn't want you around.
I would get so mad when you hung around my friends and I. "Why are you so annoying? You're always by me. Go away." I chose my cell phone and friends over spending time with you.
As we got even older, I realized you hung around me because you look up to me (even if you won't admit it). You saw the things I was doing, the people I was hanging around and the choices I was making. In the back of my mind, I knew that. I knew you were watching me and you would be affected by what I was doing too.
You saved me from ruining my life.
I made good choices because of you. I made good grades because of you. I stayed away from peer pressure because of you. Everything I do, I do with you in mind. I never want to disappoint you or hurt you.
As we get older, I want you to make good decisions too. I want you to stay safe and hang out with a good crowd. I want you to see everything i've done in life and want to do the same. I want you to go to college or do whatever makes you happy. I want you to go for your dreams! I want you to find the right person to marry, that treats you right. I want you to be a good leader to others, and make decisions based on what you think, not others.
If things ever get hard and you feel down, just remember when we were little and would sit in your bedroom and play forever. We would make our Barbies get married and would make a train of them down the stairs. We would go to grandma and grandpa's and role down their hill and play outside all day long.
I know we will have many many more dumb arguments in the future, but know I will always be your big sister, even when I'm 60 and you 57. I'll always be there for you. No matter what. Remember that.
I love you little sis.
Love,
Your Big Sister
