You are part of the reason that I am the person that I am today, and I would like to thank you for that.

For the longest time, I had believed that you destroyed me. Because of you, I believed that I was nothing, worthless actually. I could hardly look myself in a mirror without being disgusted. Because of you, I hated nearly every single thing about myself. I hated that I couldn't go in public without getting anxiety, I hated that I couldn't get close to my boyfriend because I was scared. I hated that I hid you from my parents for too long. I hated myself for developing depression, anxiety, and many other things. I just hated myself in general for the longest time.

However, that is not why I am thanking you. I am thanking you, because eventually, with the support of my amazing family, and friends, I learned that I shouldn't hate myself for something that you did to me. Because of you, I eventually learned that I am a strong, beautiful, smart, confident woman. I no longer get disgusted when I look in the mirror. Now, I see a beautiful, young woman who could take on the world if she chose to.

Because of you, I have used my experiences to help other lost and lonely people who have needed guidance to realize how special they are. I have learned to share my stories, in the hopes that they will inspire others to never give up because they are worth something. I have become an advocate for abuse prevention, as well as for depression/anxiety awareness.

But I do not want you to go around thinking everything is fine and dandy now because that is not the case. I still get anxiety when I go out in public, but I have learned that my family, friends and boyfriend will not let anything happen to me. I am no longer ashamed that I get anxious in public because I have finally realized that my support system understands that I need extra help sometimes, that’s what they are here for.

I also still have days where I do not like myself or days where my depression is at an all-time low, but I will always have my support system. You have taken a lot of things away from me, but you will never be able to take the love of my family, friends and supporters.

Because of you, I still have nights with bad dreams and anxiety attacks and days where I do not like people touching me. However, I have learned that they are just dreams, and I can always crawl into bed with my mom and she will make everything better. I have finally learned that 99 percent of the time, people are not touching me to hurt me or make me uncomfortable. I will probably never be able to completely get rid of the dreams, anxiety and days where I do not like to be touched, but I have a better understanding of it now.

But out of all of the bad, there is so much more good. I would like to personally thank you for destroying me, only so I could pick myself back up and realize what an amazing woman I really am. Thank you for tearing me down, so I could build myself back up and finally realize my self-worth. Thank you for making me think of myself as disgusting, so that I could finally realize how beautiful I am. But most of all, thank you for showing me the kind of person that you are, so I could finally get you out of my life forever.