Recommended for you

Start writing a post

Relationships

An Open Letter To My Abuser

You are part of the reason that I am the person that I am today, and I would like to thank you for that.

Tiffany Elise Dewes

Sep 07, 2016

Indiana University Northwest

616

Wordpress

You are part of the reason that I am the person that I am today, and I would like to thank you for that.

For the longest time, I had believed that you destroyed me. Because of you, I believed that I was nothing, worthless actually. I could hardly look myself in a mirror without being disgusted. Because of you, I hated nearly every single thing about myself. I hated that I couldn't go in public without getting anxiety, I hated that I couldn't get close to my boyfriend because I was scared. I hated that I hid you from my parents for too long. I hated myself for developing depression, anxiety, and many other things. I just hated myself in general for the longest time.

However, that is not why I am thanking you. I am thanking you, because eventually, with the support of my amazing family, and friends, I learned that I shouldn't hate myself for something that you did to me. Because of you, I eventually learned that I am a strong, beautiful, smart, confident woman. I no longer get disgusted when I look in the mirror. Now, I see a beautiful, young woman who could take on the world if she chose to.

Because of you, I have used my experiences to help other lost and lonely people who have needed guidance to realize how special they are. I have learned to share my stories, in the hopes that they will inspire others to never give up because they are worth something. I have become an advocate for abuse prevention, as well as for depression/anxiety awareness.

But I do not want you to go around thinking everything is fine and dandy now because that is not the case. I still get anxiety when I go out in public, but I have learned that my family, friends and boyfriend will not let anything happen to me. I am no longer ashamed that I get anxious in public because I have finally realized that my support system understands that I need extra help sometimes, that’s what they are here for.

I also still have days where I do not like myself or days where my depression is at an all-time low, but I will always have my support system. You have taken a lot of things away from me, but you will never be able to take the love of my family, friends and supporters.

Because of you, I still have nights with bad dreams and anxiety attacks and days where I do not like people touching me. However, I have learned that they are just dreams, and I can always crawl into bed with my mom and she will make everything better. I have finally learned that 99 percent of the time, people are not touching me to hurt me or make me uncomfortable. I will probably never be able to completely get rid of the dreams, anxiety and days where I do not like to be touched, but I have a better understanding of it now.

But out of all of the bad, there is so much more good. I would like to personally thank you for destroying me, only so I could pick myself back up and realize what an amazing woman I really am. Thank you for tearing me down, so I could build myself back up and finally realize my self-worth. Thank you for making me think of myself as disgusting, so that I could finally realize how beautiful I am. But most of all, thank you for showing me the kind of person that you are, so I could finally get you out of my life forever.

Report this Content

This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Lifestyle

39 Traits You Know You Have If You're A Libra

You are fun, but firm.

Stillwater, OK

520

39 Traits You Know You Have If You're A Libra

Flickr

If you were born between September 23rd - October 22nd, then you are a Libra. Let's be real, Libras are the best because you are the perfect balance of all things in life. Some may find this boring, but they don't know anything about what it means to be all things at once. As Libras, we hold much on our shoulders that no one can understand. These are traits you know to be true if you are a Libra:

Keep Reading...Show less

libra

Entertainment

12 Types Of Drunk Girls You'll See In Every Friend Group

"Getting drunk with your best friends is an experience in and of itself. It takes us on wild and ridiculous adventures with the people we trust with our lives."

University of Minnesota Twin Cities

360

Cloud Front

Getting drunk with your best friends is an experience in and of itself. It takes us on wild and ridiculous adventures with the people we trust with our lives. Each one of you plays a vital role in making sure the night goes (relatively) smoothly.

Keep Reading...Show less

drinking

Entertainment

20 Times When The Kardashians Summed Up Your Finals Week

It's so rude that we have finals.

University of Iowa

Cosmopolitan.com

Finals week is so rude! So, there's no one better to explain it than the Kardashians themselves!

1. When you look at your finals schedule and become immediately overwhelmed:

2. When your professor says that the final is only going to be short answer questions:

3. When you text your parents to tell them that you're going to have a mental breakdown and drop out of college and they're just like:

I'M Sorry You'Re Overwhelmed GIFfrom Keeping Up With The Kardashians GIFs

4. When you're trying to study with friends, but then you realize that you haven't gotten anything done:

Khloe Khloekardashian GIFfrom Khloe GIFs

5. Then you just end up going on your phone.

6. When you're two weeks away from finals and your professor tells you that you should probably start studying now:

7. When you sit down to take your final and the first question hits you like:

8. When you start the practice problems and you're just like:

9. When you're in your final and find a question that you actually know the answer to:

10. When that one annoying kid in your class says that the final was super easy and they aced it:

Hit You In The Throat Serious GIFfrom Hit You In The Throat GIFs

11. When you come back from your 7:30 a.m. final and crash:

12. When your professor tries to teach you new material a week before the final:

13. When you decide to eat away the pain that is finals week by ordering massive amounts of food:

14. Filling out course evaluations for that one difficult professor like:

15. When it's right before your first final and you're just like:

16. When your professor tells that you the final is cumulative:

17. When the kid next to you keeps looking over at your test:

18. Looking back on the outfits that you wore during finals week like:

Kimk Tears GIFfrom Kimk GIFs

19. When it's been two hours and you've only gotten through five notecards:

20. When you finally make it to the end of the week:

kardashians

Lifestyle

10 Signs You Work In A Restaurant

There's always chaos in the restaurant business.

University of Akron

1311

Brisanis

Working in the restaurant industry is possibly the most fundamentally challenging occupation I have ever experienced when it comes to hospitality and customer service. When you go to a five-star restaurant you expect the time of your life, a two hour getaway, a walk through another time period (rustic Italy, France, Spain, etc), or simply a honeymoon undergo. What you don't see are the behind the scenes scut work: carrying trays, polishing glassware and silverware, kitchen chaos, the list is endless. Now, I'm not saying being a host, server, or bartender is the worst thing in the whole wide world, there are definitely worse things. But the fact of the matter is that it isn't always sunshine and rainbows. In the two years that I have spent in restaurant and customer service, I have spoken my share of expletives, yelled at kitchen staff, and dealt with not-so-happy guests. It isn't easy to keep a bright and shiny smile on your face when all you want to do is choke every person who walks near you. Anyone who has spent even two weeks working in a restaurant understands the rigor and stress that comes with it. Restaurant culture is a tiny world in and of itself that operates on its own principles and creates its own society. It even has its own language. The sayings "runner", "corner", and "on a bus" wouldn't make sense to anyone otherwise. My mother and I both work in a restaurant and the best advice I can give someone going out to eat is to treat us like people. Yes...believe it or not we are people, people. Say "please" and "thank you", or stack your cleared plates before a busser gets to the table. Trust me, the gesture goes a lot farther than you may think.

So, if you work in a restaurant, you can relate with the following points. If not, check out how the brain of a restaurant service (or any customer service) worker actually works. See if you can identify any crazy weird habits your friends have a tendency to partake in.

Keep Reading...Show less

restaurant life

Recommended for you

An Open Letter To My Abuser

You are part of the reason that I am the person that I am today, and I would like to thank you for that.

Subscribe to our Newsletter

You are fun, but firm.

"Getting drunk with your best friends is an experience in and of itself. It takes us on wild and ridiculous adventures with the people we trust with our lives."

The Mother Hen

The Instigator

The One Who Always Texts Her Ex

The Shakira

The Philosopher

The Reluctant Homebody

The MMA Fighter

The "I'm Not Even Drunk!" Girl

The Joey Tribbiani

The Horny Toad

The Aspiring Rapper

It's so rude that we have finals.

1. When you look at your finals schedule and become immediately overwhelmed:

2. When your professor says that the final is only going to be short answer questions:

3. When you text your parents to tell them that you're going to have a mental breakdown and drop out of college and they're just like:

4. When you're trying to study with friends, but then you realize that you haven't gotten anything done:

5. Then you just end up going on your phone.

6. When you're two weeks away from finals and your professor tells you that you should probably start studying now:

7. When you sit down to take your final and the first question hits you like:

8. When you start the practice problems and you're just like:

9. When you're in your final and find a question that you actually know the answer to:

10. When that one annoying kid in your class says that the final was super easy and they aced it:

11. When you come back from your 7:30 a.m. final and crash:

12. When your professor tries to teach you new material a week before the final:

13. When you decide to eat away the pain that is finals week by ordering massive amounts of food:

14. Filling out course evaluations for that one difficult professor like:

15. When it's right before your first final and you're just like:

16. When your professor tells that you the final is cumulative:

17. When the kid next to you keeps looking over at your test:

18. Looking back on the outfits that you wore during finals week like:

19. When it's been two hours and you've only gotten through five notecards:

20. When you finally make it to the end of the week:

There's always chaos in the restaurant business.

Anytime you turn a corner the words "corner!" without you even realizing.

People are amazed at how professional you are when speaking to strangers, or on the phone

When we say "table 17 is on a bus", table 17 isn't LITERALLY on a bus.

You understand the frustration of the functions of another existing restaurant when going out to eat.

When you repeat the same spiel 40 times you start to sound like a lifeless robot.

The rush of prime dinner service. The chaos is riveting.

You have "that guy" at a table that makes you want to pull your hair out.

Getting stiffed an entire tip is worse than dealing with a difficult human being.

When you're sitting in a restaurant you don't dare interrupt your servers table presentation.

At the end of the night, you take the first opportunity you get to take a seat.

Not everything you learn in college can be found in a textbook.

Your self control and motivation directly correlate to how close the end of the semester is.

Group projects seem to be something created by the devil himself.

Remember when you were young and you knew everything there was to know? Wrong: you knew nothing.

If there is free food offered - go!

Never believe a professor when they tell you "Don't worry, this won't be on the test."

If you want a relationship with someone, it will take effort.

Check your email before you trudge all the way to class to find out it is cancelled.

You do not need a ton of friends, just a couple of really good ones.

Take the time to do what you love.

Every Saturday you will avoid doing homework like it is the plague. When Sunday rolls around you will complain that you have way too much stuff to do and not enough time to do it.

Your college experience is what you make of it.

Trending Topics

Top Creators

Trending Stories

Best of Relationships

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments

Subscribe to our
Newsletter