I grew up being told over and over that sometimes you just can't stay friends with everybody and that sometimes, that's just how things have to be. I learned over time that this was unavoidable and a normal part of life. You grow up and not everyone can, or will, move along on your journey with you.

I have lost many, many friends over the years. Sometimes it's my fault, sometimes it's theirs, sometimes it's both and sometimes neither one of us did anything wrong, we just lost touch and didn't think to pick up where we left off. One of the biggest losses I have felt growing up was losing my very first real best friend, a girl who grew up right across the street from me.

I know she will never read this because one of the reasons we grew apart and fought so much was because I was into things like writing and reading and learning about the world and she just wasn't. It was more important to her to make as many friends as possible and grow up as fast as she could with boys and alcohol. I was 17, and that wasn't my scene. So, here it goes.

Dear _____,

I remember when we were little and we would beg our parents constantly to let us run back and forth across the street to each other's houses. We would splash in the sprinklers and steal strawberries from our neighbors garden, and when we got older, we'd lay out by your pool all day and work on our tans. We made snow ice cream during winter break and exchanged presents and made pillow forts in my closet, staying up late and throwing my glow in the dark stars at each other. We celebrated over 15 birthdays together, over 15 Independence Days. You were there for me when my father died and I was there for you when your parent's marriage started to get complicated and you got caught in the crossfire.

You were my best friend.

However, in high school, you fell in with the "popular" crowd and even though I was a year younger than you, it didn't take a genius to see that I wasn't one of you guys. I liked art and reading and I wasn't athletic. Boys still made me uncomfortable and I wasn't interested in homecoming or prom. I was close friends with people that you didn't like because they were "loud, weird, obnoxious," but to me...they were fun. They're still fun.

We would still hang out after school, when we both got our licenses we'd drive to Target and buy silly things and giggle when we came home because we'd have to hide them from our parents. We'd go get ice cream and dinner at the restaurant I worked at. And every little fight we had, we'd resolve it and go back to acting like nothing had ever gone wrong between us.

After we graduated high school, things really changed. I started college and you decided you didn't want to go anymore. I made new friends and got in my first real relationship, and even though it's over now and I'm grateful that it is, you didn't support me while I was in it. You made fun of me, told me I had changed, told me that I wasn't allowed to grow up and do all of the things that you had been doing since, oh, I don't know... sophomore year of high school, maybe?

We just didn't mesh together anymore. I felt awkward talking to your parents about my life when I knew that you rarely talked to them yourself anymore. We didn't bring you up, I didn't talk about you to anyone. I kind of just let go and realized that you had already done so, way before me.

I outgrew you. And it hurt. Because you were more of a sister to me than my own sibling. You were my best friend. My confidant. Half of my heart. I went to you with everything, my first heartbreak and my father's death and the embarrassment of getting my period for the first time in home-ec class. I went to you with all of that and then...where did you go with it?

I would check up on you over the years to make sure you were okay, because I knew that your parents were still dealing with a lot of stuff and I worried that it was affecting you, even though I knew that if the tables had been turned you would not have worried about my well-being or my family's. See, I was used to always being the friend that cared more, the friend that was more involved and more considerate of the other person. Because of this, I grew up with you calling me whiny and oversensitive and annoying.

Sometimes, you would answer, let me know how you were, where you were, what you were up to. I can't say that any of your answers gave me any peace of mind because you never seemed to be doing anything special that you had planned when we were sixteen.

At 21, I think it's been about 3 years since we last spoke, but I came to terms with the fact that we were no longer friends many, many years before today.

It isn't a crime to outgrow someone. People don't stay forever. Things change. Life doesn't just stop because you've lost someone. Sometimes all we can do is just accept things for what they are and wish our old friends well on their journeys through life. And that is what I'm doing for you, here.

We always planned to be part of each other's weddings. I always thought I would be your maid of honor and you would be my children's godmother. I thought I would be there when you had your first child. I thought you would be the first person I went to when I finally, finally found real, true love. Our plans fell through, but one thing that didn't?

My hope for you.

I wish you all the best. I will never regret growing up together even though we fought and even though I don't think we were the perfect match for each other. We had a lot of great memories and I would not be the person I am today without you. I truly do wish you well. I hope that you get the fairytale wedding you always wanted and the big country home with the five-pointed star mantle decorations. I hope your little baby boy grows up healthy and happy. I hope you have a dream vacation house on the beach and I hope money is never an issue for you and I hope your parents are doing well. I hope you find peace and progress in everything that you do and I hope maybe, someday, you'll hope the same for me.

With love always,

Someone You Used To Know.