Dear Friends and Family,
I'm sorry it has taken so long to get back to you. The main reason for that is I suck, and for some reason I am the world's slowest replier when it comes to emails, text messages and phone calls.
Chances are I read your text message and then accidentally took a nap immediately after. Or my voicemail is too full and I have absolutely no time to check it. And don't even ask about my email inbox, the number of "Unread" just keeps getting bigger and it honestly gives me insane anxiety just to look at it. It seems the more messages I get, the more motivation I lose to respond. See my problem here?
I know you're probably wondering why you haven't heard from me. I promise I'm not angry or upset with you. My self-conscious usually reminds me to respond, but I so rarely listen. For some reason, I have trouble sending a reply as soon as I get a message. It really should be the easiest thing in the world, since it only takes two seconds, but for some reason it is just way too hard to be a fast replier.
It's not that I don't care. I still am here for you in every single way, and I still care about you tremendously. The problem is I just cannot seem to work up the energy to reply sometimes. I promise I read the Odyssey article you sent me. I laughed at that funny picture on Instagram. I even plan on coming to that weird Facebook event you invited me to. I'm just entirely too lazy or too busy to press a few simple buttons to tell you that.
And there are also other times when I get extremely busy and completely forget you might have texted me. I'm sorry about that too. As I'm sure you know, life can get pretty hectic and stressful sometimes. Even though replying doesn't take that long anyway, I still get stressed when I think about having to formulate a response. And like any old college student, I'm going to avoid stressors as much as possible.
Consider this to be my response for whenever I forget to text or call you back. Please understand how very sorry I am, and I am not intentionally ignoring you. Texting me is like ordering something online: it's gonna take 3-5 business days to get what you want. I can't seem to change, so instead here is me apologizing for how I am the slowest replier ever.
Sincerely,The World's Worst Replier