An Open Letter From A Recovering Addict | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

An Open Letter From A Recovering Addict, For Everyone Who Doesn't Understand

Nobody wants to have substance use disorder, some of us just do.

2287
An Open Letter From A Recovering Addict, For Everyone Who Doesn't Understand

One of the first times I tried to get clean, I did not feel clean. I sat shaking in the third row of my mother's mini van. The sleeves of my sweatshirt stained from wiping the vomit from the side of my lips.

There was nothing "clean" about this.

I did not stay clean for long. This was nearly five years ago, and I am now a little over two years clean. I don't blame people for not understanding what I just wrote about, or for not understanding addiction or even addicts themselves. However, since getting clean now two years ago I have made it my mission to help others understand.

So this is an open letter to you, the person who does not understand.

I want to ask you two questions.

What is the worst thing you've ever done?

The worst decision you have ever made?

Did you maybe cheat on a significant other? Did you steal something? Did you bully someone in high school? Was it a prank gone wrong? Maybe you lied on your taxes or maybe you rode your bike without a helmet.

Now imagine this thing that you hate that you did, this thing you are ashamed of, this thing you dread others finding out — is something you are labeled and stigmatized for the rest of your life.

This is what being an addict is like.

But I can take a wild guess of what you're thinking right now reading the above two questions to you. You are thinking "addiction is not a disease, it's a choice, right?" Wrong.

Addiction is an equal opportunity destroyer.

Addiction does not care who you are or where you come from.

Addiction does not care what you look like.

Addiction does not care how successful, talented, wealthy, or smart you are, addiction will take all this from you.

Regardless of who you are when addiction comes barreling into you, it will turn you into someone that you are not, someone who you never wanted to be.

Addiction will make you deceive, manipulate, disappoint and let down.

Addiction will drive a wedge between you and your loved ones, addiction will make you hurt the ones closest to you and hurt yourself.

And addiction make you hate yourself in the process.

The thing is, though, nobody asks to become addicted to drugs. Nobody asks to be turned into an empty shell version of themselves. Nobody wants to become an addict. Addiction can start with a choice but addicts are not the only ones who made that choice — it was the same choice you made at high school football games, parties and sleepovers.

We drank the same water bottles filled with vodka. We bargained for the same cigarettes. We smoked the same weed. We raided medicine cabinets to have a bathroom potluck of white lines. You were able to walk away from it, though, while myself and many others were not.

This was never part of anyone's plan.

In third grade, when I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I did not answer "an addict." I did not want to become an addict rather then a teacher or a doctor.

I did not reply "I cannot wait to grow up so I can pass out drunk in my friends front yard in the middle of winter."

My friends did not reply "I cannot wait till I am stealing from my parents so I can afford to use."

My friends did not reply "I cannot wait to overdose and die before I can graduate college, get married or have kids."

Nobody wants to have substance use disorder, some of us just do.

We can never know what it is like to be another person, to see what they have seen, to feel what they have felt. We are all made up of our different experiences, including those of success and failures. A lot of us made those same choices. However, some just got lucky that it was me, and not you.

Do not give up on us. Do not hate us. I can understand the need to separate yourself if need be, but please remember that we are human too. We deserve compassion, kindness and care. We deserve to live a life free from judgment and hatred.

Addiction is no doubt a difficult disease for anyone to wrap their head around, including those who suffer from it. But that doesn't mean it is any less real or valid for those who are struggling with it.

I ask you to dig down deep, educate yourself, and show love to those who are still fighting this battle.

Report this Content
Relationships

10 Facts All People In A Large Family Can Confirm During The Holiday Season

The holiday season can be the best and most stressful time of the year, especially when more people are involved.

918
kids jumping

The holidays are full of lights, sweets, sweaters, and your favorite movies. There's nothing quite like this period from the beginning of December through January. Christmas, Hanukkah, and New Years. The fun of it all.

I don't know about you but with my large Italian family something is always going on during this season. It can be the most wonderful time of the year while also being the most hectic. These are a few things you know if your family is anything like mine during this time.

Keep Reading...Show less
10 things that happen the second Thanksgiving is over
reference.com

To those who celebrate, you just spent an entire day cooking an elaborate meal with all of your favorite foods. You probably ate your body weight in pumpkin pie and mashed potatoes. What happens now? Oh yea, Christmas. It’s time to take out all of the decorations and Christmas themed things that have been sitting in the attic since last year; it’s time to make a reappearance. So, here are 10 things that happen the second Thanksgiving is over.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

18 Things I Want To Do Now That I'm 18

I'm technically an adult, so I'm legally required to live a little, right?

4274
Happy Birthday Cake

For the entirety of my high school career, I was always seen as the goody-two-shoes. I never got in trouble with a teacher, I kept stellar grades, and when I wasn't doing extracurricular activities, I was at home studying. Even when I did go out, it was usually with a bunch of fellow band geeks. The night would end before 11:00 PM and the only controversial activity would be a fight based on who unfairly won a round of Apples-to-Apples when someone else clearly had a better card (I promise I'm not still holding a grudge).

Now that I'm officially an adult, I want to pursue some new things. I want to experience life in a way that I never allowed myself to do prior to entering college. These are the years that I'm supposed to embark on a journey of self-discovery, so what better way to do that than to create a bucket list?

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

10 Life Lessons from Christmas Classics

The holiday classics that shaped my life

2625
10 Life Lessons from Christmas Classics
Flickr

The holiday season is full of stress, debt, and forced conversation. While we rush through the month of December, it's important to take a step back and enjoy the moments before they're gone. Most families love to watch Christmas movies, but these beloved films provide more than entertainment. Here are 10 life lessons that I've learned from the holiday classics we watch every year.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

15 Mind-Bending Riddles

Hopefully they will make you laugh.

202001
 Ilistrated image of the planet and images of questions
StableDiffusion

I've been super busy lately with school work, studying, etc. Besides the fact that I do nothing but AP chemistry and AP economics, I constantly think of stupid questions that are almost impossible to answer. So, maybe you could answer them for me, and if not then we can both wonder what the answers to these 15 questions could be.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments