An Open Letter To My First Love | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Relationships

An Open Letter To My First Love

The first cut is always the deepest.

250
An Open Letter To My First Love

Hi,

I haven’t talked to you in over 2 years now. It doesn’t surprise me though, so much has changed since then. I moved schools, I’ve had a different relationship, I lived in a different country for a while, and now I’m ready to graduate. I’m completely different from the eighteen year old girl whose heart you broke. I’m smarter, stronger, and more cautious with my heart. I’m sure you’ve changed a lot too, or at least I hope so.

Although I’m different, there are some things that will never change. I will never be able to go into a casino without thinking of you. I will never be able to hear the song “I Don’t Dance” by Lee Brice and not change the station because I think of you. I will never be able to see a white BMW while I’m driving and not think it’s you. You cross my mind every now and then. I think of the good times, I think of the awful fights, I think of the last time I saw you.

Things didn’t end well between us. So badly in fact that when you came into the restaurant I was working at with another girl you ran out the back door (yes, I saw you). You lied to me, you cheated on me with two different girls that I know of, and you hid me from the world when we were together. You had an image to maintain, and for some reason I wasn’t a part of it. But, I still loved you. As much as I hate to say it, when someone asks me who my first love was I will always have to say your name. The saddest part about it is that to this day I wonder if you ever loved me. You said you did. You knew how much you wanted to spend on my wedding ring, your mom told me she had never seen you so crazy about a girl, but I still can’t bring myself to believe that you actually loved me. You don’t cheat on people you love, you don’t hide them away, you don’t treat them how you treated me.

I used to feel sorry for myself when I thought about what happened to us, but now I feel sorry for you. I feel sorry that you have a warped idea of what love truly is. I feel sorry that you thought it was okay to name the teddy bear I got you after what your ex girlfriend used to call you, I feel sorry that there are so many other girls who I’m sure you’ve hurt just as badly as you hurt me. However, even with as bad as everything hurt, I want to thank you.

Thank you for showing me what I don’t deserve. Thank you for teaching me which red flags I need to look for in future relationships. Thank you for destroying me so that I could recreate myself into someone stronger, healthier, and more self-assured. Thank you for letting me go. Although you were my first love, that’s all you will ever be to me. I can move forward and eventually find someone who treats me with the love and respect I know I deserve but you couldn't provide me. Though the pain is long gone and I would never give you the time of day again, these are the things I carry with me. I learned a lot from you, and I hope you learned a thing or two from me too. Although it’s hard for me to say, I wish you the best.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

How To Prepare For The Library: Finals Edition

10 ways to prepare for finals week—beginning with getting to the library.

1111
How To Prepare For The Library: Finals Edition
Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash

It’s that time of year again when college students live at the library all week, cramming for tests that they should have started studying for last month. Preparing to spend all day at the library takes much consideration and planning. Use these tips to help get you through the week while spending an excessive amount of time in a building that no one wants to be in.

Keep Reading...Show less
girl roommates
StableDiffusion

Where do we begin when we start talking about our roommates? You practically spend every moment with them, they become your second family and they deal with you at your best and at your absolute worst. They are there to make you laugh just a little harder, cry a little less and make each day a little better. We often forget to thank them for the little things that they do to make college even a tiny bit easier and more fun. This list of 26 things are what you should thank your roommates for right this minute and every day that you live with them.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

20 Thoughts While Studying For Finals

I may or may not be stressing right now.

2004
Thoughts While Studying For Finals
StableDiffusion


That time of the semester has arrived once again, finals. The worst week ever. Who thought it was a good idea for all your classes to have exams all in the same week? Definitely not me. Here's 20 thoughts you may have studying for finals.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

Disney magic for New Year!

The "Happiest Place on Earth" has a lot of characters with some pretty great advice.

6857
Disney magic kingdom castle on new years
StableDiffusion

Disney movies are well known and very popular in today's world. Although many people appreciate the plot and the storyline, not many people appreciate the wisdom these characters possess. Every Disney movie has unique advice that can be applied to everyday life. Here are 11 Disney quotes to help start your New Year off right:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

40 Gift Ideas for the Indecisive

It's a time of love, family, memory-making, and gift-giving. But also a time of stressing over the perfect gift.

121074
Christmas gifts around a tree
StableDiffusion

It's officially December. There is less than a month of 2024, and I still feel like yesterday was summer. Now comes the merriest time of the year, the Christmas season.

Everyone has been waiting for this time of year since mid-October (which is way too early, in my opinion) or before. It's a time of love, family, memory-making, and gift-giving. A lot of times when I ask friends and family what they want, I get a lot of "I don't know" or "I don't care."

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments