An Open Letter To My First Love | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Relationships

An Open Letter To My First Love

The first cut is always the deepest.

250
An Open Letter To My First Love

Hi,

I haven’t talked to you in over 2 years now. It doesn’t surprise me though, so much has changed since then. I moved schools, I’ve had a different relationship, I lived in a different country for a while, and now I’m ready to graduate. I’m completely different from the eighteen year old girl whose heart you broke. I’m smarter, stronger, and more cautious with my heart. I’m sure you’ve changed a lot too, or at least I hope so.

Although I’m different, there are some things that will never change. I will never be able to go into a casino without thinking of you. I will never be able to hear the song “I Don’t Dance” by Lee Brice and not change the station because I think of you. I will never be able to see a white BMW while I’m driving and not think it’s you. You cross my mind every now and then. I think of the good times, I think of the awful fights, I think of the last time I saw you.

Things didn’t end well between us. So badly in fact that when you came into the restaurant I was working at with another girl you ran out the back door (yes, I saw you). You lied to me, you cheated on me with two different girls that I know of, and you hid me from the world when we were together. You had an image to maintain, and for some reason I wasn’t a part of it. But, I still loved you. As much as I hate to say it, when someone asks me who my first love was I will always have to say your name. The saddest part about it is that to this day I wonder if you ever loved me. You said you did. You knew how much you wanted to spend on my wedding ring, your mom told me she had never seen you so crazy about a girl, but I still can’t bring myself to believe that you actually loved me. You don’t cheat on people you love, you don’t hide them away, you don’t treat them how you treated me.

I used to feel sorry for myself when I thought about what happened to us, but now I feel sorry for you. I feel sorry that you have a warped idea of what love truly is. I feel sorry that you thought it was okay to name the teddy bear I got you after what your ex girlfriend used to call you, I feel sorry that there are so many other girls who I’m sure you’ve hurt just as badly as you hurt me. However, even with as bad as everything hurt, I want to thank you.

Thank you for showing me what I don’t deserve. Thank you for teaching me which red flags I need to look for in future relationships. Thank you for destroying me so that I could recreate myself into someone stronger, healthier, and more self-assured. Thank you for letting me go. Although you were my first love, that’s all you will ever be to me. I can move forward and eventually find someone who treats me with the love and respect I know I deserve but you couldn't provide me. Though the pain is long gone and I would never give you the time of day again, these are the things I carry with me. I learned a lot from you, and I hope you learned a thing or two from me too. Although it’s hard for me to say, I wish you the best.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Gilmore Girls
Hypable

In honor of Mother’s Day, I have been thinking of all the things my mom does for my family and me. Although I couldn’t write nearly all of them, here are a few things that moms do for us.

They find that shirt that’s right in front of you, but just you can’t seem to find.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

10 Reasons To Thank Your Best Friend

Take the time to thank that one friend in your life you will never let go of.

5884
Thank You on wooden blocks

1. Thank you for being the one I can always count on to be honest.

A true friend will tell you if the shirt is ugly, or at least ask to borrow it and "accidentally" burn it.

2. Thank you for accepting me for who I am.

A best friend will love you regardless of the stale french fries you left on the floor of your car, or when you had lice in 8th grade and no one wanted to talk to you.

Keep Reading...Show less
sick student
StableDiffusion

Everybody gets sick once in a while, but getting sick while in college is the absolute worst. You're away from home and your mom who can take care of you and all you really want to do is just be in your own bed. You feel like you will have never-ending classwork to catch up on if you miss class, so you end up going sick and then it just takes longer to get better. Being sick in college is really tough and definitely not a fun experience. Here are the 15 stages that everyone ends up going through when they are sick at college.

Keep Reading...Show less
kid
Janko Ferlic
Do as I say, not as I do.

Your eyes widen in horror as you stare at your phone. Beads of sweat begin to saturate your palm as your fingers tremble in fear. The illuminated screen reads, "Missed Call: Mom."

Growing up with strict parents, you learn that a few things go unsaid. Manners are everything. Never talk back. Do as you're told without question. Most importantly, you develop a system and catch on to these quirks that strict parents have so that you can play their game and do what you want.

Keep Reading...Show less
friends
tv.com

"Friends" maybe didn’t have everything right or realistic all the time, but they did have enough episodes to create countless reaction GIFs and enough awesomeness to create, well, the legacy they did. Something else that is timeless, a little rough, but memorable? Living away from the comforts of home. Whether you have an apartment, a dorm, your first house, or some sort of residence that is not the house you grew up in, I’m sure you can relate to most of these!

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments