Dear men who find it appropriate to catcall (read: harass) women,
Let me start by telling you that I know who you are. Stereotypically, you are the construction worker with nothing better to do than whistle at women on your breaks. Realistically, you are so much more than that. You are the man who made comments about my body at the gas pump. You are the man who told me I was racist when I chose not to respond to you. You are the man who walked uncomfortably close to where I parked in a parking garage and yelled at me when I ignored you. You are the man who got mad at me when I didn't high five you as I walked by you in a bar. You are the man I reported to a security guard who said he could do nothing about you harassing me in public. You are the man who scares me.
You scare me because you harass me and other women like me in broad daylight. You scare me because you get mad at me when I ignore you, a total stranger. You scare me because you act out in front of other people, and no one comes to my defense. You scare me because according to society, I should be flattered that you like the way my body looks, not upset that you're giving me unwanted attention. You scare me because you are sexually harassing me and other women, and no one sees it that way. You scare me because you are "nice" when you first start talking to me, and quickly snap when you realize that I won't give you the time of day. You scare me because of your blatant disrespect for other people and their feelings. You scare me because you are a huge part of rape culture.
Here's the thing you need to know. You don't have the right to say anything about me or what I look like. You don't get to be mad at me when I don't talk to you. You don't get to call me racist because I didn't answer you like you wanted.
Here's another thing you should know that will probably shock you. I don't wear tank tops for your pleasure, I wear them because it is hot outside. I don't walk in parking lots by myself so you can enjoy the way my jeans fit, I walk in parking lots because I can't drive my car into the building I'm going to. I don't do my hair and makeup with hopes that you notice. I don't exist for you to make comments about my body. I don't answer you when you say "Hey baby girl, come over here," (seriously, does that EVER work for you??) because I have a brain in my head that tells me I deserve more respect and safety than you are willing to offer.
The first thing our parents teach us is not to talk to strangers. You, catcaller, are a stranger. I don't know your name or where you live. We aren't friends, and we never will be. You could be dangerous, and you are someone I will always ignore for my own safety. I will never feel bad about ignoring you, because to be honest, you should be ignoring me, too. So quit telling me to smile and quit pretending like you're surprised that I want nothing to do with you.
I hope you read this letter and really let it sink in. I hope you realize that you're contributing to the never ending cycle that is rape culture, and I hope you feel bad about that. More than anything, I hope that one day, another man hears you catcall a woman and calls you out for it, since you obviously have zero respect for women. I hope that one day, you quit harassing women and quit being part of the problem. I hope that one day, you are put in your place and I am there to witness it. I hope you leave women alone, instead of scaring them.
Respectfully,
The woman who is not afraid of you anymore
