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Quit Telling Me To Smile

An open letter to catcallers.

Chandler Moxley

Jul 12, 2016

University of Tulsa

Odyssey

Dear men who find it appropriate to catcall (read: harass) women,

Let me start by telling you that I know who you are. Stereotypically, you are the construction worker with nothing better to do than whistle at women on your breaks. Realistically, you are so much more than that. You are the man who made comments about my body at the gas pump. You are the man who told me I was racist when I chose not to respond to you. You are the man who walked uncomfortably close to where I parked in a parking garage and yelled at me when I ignored you. You are the man who got mad at me when I didn't high five you as I walked by you in a bar. You are the man I reported to a security guard who said he could do nothing about you harassing me in public. You are the man who scares me.

You scare me because you harass me and other women like me in broad daylight. You scare me because you get mad at me when I ignore you, a total stranger. You scare me because you act out in front of other people, and no one comes to my defense. You scare me because according to society, I should be flattered that you like the way my body looks, not upset that you're giving me unwanted attention. You scare me because you are sexually harassing me and other women, and no one sees it that way. You scare me because you are "nice" when you first start talking to me, and quickly snap when you realize that I won't give you the time of day. You scare me because of your blatant disrespect for other people and their feelings. You scare me because you are a huge part of rape culture.

Here's the thing you need to know. You don't have the right to say anything about me or what I look like. You don't get to be mad at me when I don't talk to you. You don't get to call me racist because I didn't answer you like you wanted.

Here's another thing you should know that will probably shock you. I don't wear tank tops for your pleasure, I wear them because it is hot outside. I don't walk in parking lots by myself so you can enjoy the way my jeans fit, I walk in parking lots because I can't drive my car into the building I'm going to. I don't do my hair and makeup with hopes that you notice. I don't exist for you to make comments about my body. I don't answer you when you say "Hey baby girl, come over here," (seriously, does that EVER work for you??) because I have a brain in my head that tells me I deserve more respect and safety than you are willing to offer.

The first thing our parents teach us is not to talk to strangers. You, catcaller, are a stranger. I don't know your name or where you live. We aren't friends, and we never will be. You could be dangerous, and you are someone I will always ignore for my own safety. I will never feel bad about ignoring you, because to be honest, you should be ignoring me, too. So quit telling me to smile and quit pretending like you're surprised that I want nothing to do with you.

I hope you read this letter and really let it sink in. I hope you realize that you're contributing to the never ending cycle that is rape culture, and I hope you feel bad about that. More than anything, I hope that one day, another man hears you catcall a woman and calls you out for it, since you obviously have zero respect for women. I hope that one day, you quit harassing women and quit being part of the problem. I hope that one day, you are put in your place and I am there to witness it. I hope you leave women alone, instead of scaring them.

Respectfully,

The woman who is not afraid of you anymore

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Quit Telling Me To Smile

An open letter to catcallers.

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You are fun, but firm.

"Getting drunk with your best friends is an experience in and of itself. It takes us on wild and ridiculous adventures with the people we trust with our lives."

The Mother Hen

The Instigator

The One Who Always Texts Her Ex

The Shakira

The Philosopher

The Reluctant Homebody

The MMA Fighter

The "I'm Not Even Drunk!" Girl

The Joey Tribbiani

The Horny Toad

The Aspiring Rapper

It's so rude that we have finals.

1. When you look at your finals schedule and become immediately overwhelmed:

2. When your professor says that the final is only going to be short answer questions:

3. When you text your parents to tell them that you're going to have a mental breakdown and drop out of college and they're just like:

4. When you're trying to study with friends, but then you realize that you haven't gotten anything done:

5. Then you just end up going on your phone.

6. When you're two weeks away from finals and your professor tells you that you should probably start studying now:

7. When you sit down to take your final and the first question hits you like:

8. When you start the practice problems and you're just like:

9. When you're in your final and find a question that you actually know the answer to:

10. When that one annoying kid in your class says that the final was super easy and they aced it:

11. When you come back from your 7:30 a.m. final and crash:

12. When your professor tries to teach you new material a week before the final:

13. When you decide to eat away the pain that is finals week by ordering massive amounts of food:

14. Filling out course evaluations for that one difficult professor like:

15. When it's right before your first final and you're just like:

16. When your professor tells that you the final is cumulative:

17. When the kid next to you keeps looking over at your test:

18. Looking back on the outfits that you wore during finals week like:

19. When it's been two hours and you've only gotten through five notecards:

20. When you finally make it to the end of the week:

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Every Saturday you will avoid doing homework like it is the plague. When Sunday rolls around you will complain that you have way too much stuff to do and not enough time to do it.

Your college experience is what you make of it.

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