An Open Letter About My Depression. | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

An Open Letter About My Depression.

Addressed to the people in my life.

2363
An Open Letter About My Depression.
Wall Devil

I know I require a lot of work. And for what it’s worth, I’m sorry. I know I don’t communicate very well and trust me, I’m working on it. I go from clingy to distant in the blink of an eye and I wish I could justify it to you, to myself. I will not apologize for my condition, but I will apologize for the inconvenience. This letter is not an apology so for now, I want to say thank you.

Thank you for being patient. The indecisiveness that comes with depression can get on people’s last nerve. Waiting minutes, hours, days, for a response can drain you. So thank you for your patience. Thank you for listening to me rave about all my irrational fears, more than once. Thank you for being there when I can’t get out of bed. Thank you for knowing it isn’t laziness. Thank you for not seeing me as a deadbeat with no motivation. Because it is there. I have goals and talents. There are things I like to do in my free time. I like hanging out with people and I like looking at the stars. But there are some days when it takes everything I have to brush my teeth. Seeing that I have seen your message but have yet to respond, can be annoying and know that I never intentionally ignore anyone, I’m just really bad at getting back to people. So thank you.

I want you to know that while I am a very talkative person, there are things I don’t know how to articulate. I don’t know how to tell you why I don’t sleep at night. I don’t know how to explain why I’m sad without an event to cause it. I don’t know how to show you who I am. There is a version of me that I put on when I am around other people. And yes, parts of that are parts of the real me. But I also need to say that I don’t completely know me. I view myself as a construction zone after a disaster. There was something built that is no longer there. And yes, it is being built back. It’ll be comparable to before, hopefully, better. But for now, I am still building.

I also get that my quirks take a lot of getting used to. My fear of large dogs and thunder. The fact that I can’t answer the door for the pizza delivery person, or ask a waiter to correct my order. These are all part of my anxiety. So I thank you for not laughing or putting me down when I can’t perform these seemingly easy tasks.

And most importantly, I want you to know that you are a gift. I have a way of not letting people into my life, so if you have found your way in, know that you are a great person. I have trust issues, anxiety, and am also a pretty unpredictable person. So know that your presence in my life is seen as a gift. You



Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Taylor Swift in orange dress playing a moss-covered piano on stage with bright lights.

A three-and-a-half-hour runtime. Nine Eras. Eleven outfit changes. Three surprise songs. Zero breaks. One unforgettable evening. In the past century, no other performer has put on an electric performance quite like Taylor Swift, surpassing her fans ‘wildest dreams’. It is the reason supporters keep coming back to her shows each year. Days later, I’m still in awe of the spectacle ‘Miss Americana’ puts on every few days in a new city. And, like one of Taylor’s exes, has me smiling as I reminisce about the memories of the night we spent together.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

A Few Thoughts Every College Freshman Has

The transition into adulthood is never easy

23788
Mays Island
Courtney Jones

Today I started my third week of college at Minnesota State Moorhead. I have survived welcome week, finding my classes on the first day, and being an awkward loner in the dining hall. Even though I have yet to be here for a month, I have already experienced many thoughts and problems that only a new college student can relate to.

Keep Reading...Show less
Students walking on a sunny college campus with trees and buildings.

"Make sure to get involved when you're in college!"

We've all heard some variation of this phrase, whether it came from parents, other family members, friends, RAs, or college-related articles. And, like many clichés, it's true for the most part. Getting involved during your college years can help you make friends, build your resume, and feel connected to your campus. However, these commitments can get stressful if you're dealing with personal issues, need to work, or aren't sure how to balance classes and everything else going on during the semester.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

9 Reasons Why Friends Are Essential In College

College without friends is like peanut butter without jelly.

9936
Bridgaline Liberati and friends
Bridgaline Liberati

In college, one of the essential things to have is friends. Yes, textbooks, a laptop, and other school supplies are important but friends are essential. Friends are that support system everybody needs. The more friends you have the better the support system you have. But you also have someone to share experiences with. And don’t settle for just one or two friends because 8 out of 10 times they are busy and you are studying all alone. Or they have other friend groups that do not include you. Don’t settle for just one or two friends; make as many friends as you can. After the first couple of weeks of college, most friend groups are set and you may be without friends.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

The Power of Dressing Up

Why it pays to leave the hoodie at home.

7197
sneakers and heels
Sister | Brother Style - Word Press

For a moment your world is spinning. The phone alarm has just scared you awake and you’re flooded by daunting thoughts of the day ahead. You have three assignments due and little time to work on them because of your job. You’re running late because you’ve hit snooze one to many times after yesterday’s long hours. You dizzily reach for a hoodie, craving its comfort, and rush for a speedy exit, praying you will have time to pick up coffee. Does this sound familiar?

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments