We all have great friendships and we all have friendships that poisoned our lives at one point. It happens, finding a great friendship is about as hard as finding a great relationship. Just existing with another human being can be difficult at times because of our differences. Hopefully the breakdown of how I personally view friendship will help you understand the dynamics of your friendship and the type of friends you have. This is more of an open discussion on my views of friendship to get you thinking.
This topic and idea started when I was listening to MoVicky's podcast called "Life talks with Movicky. A Journey To a Better Me and You" and both speakers discussed on how they defined a friendship. Obviously, both sides had a different definition of what they considered a friend and that is normal. We all need people for different things in our lives and we will define what a friendship is because of that. This is a great podcast by the way. She aims to bring on various of different people to the podcast to display a variety of different life experiences when it comes to this topic.
My friendship essentially is broken up into three different tiers. The three tiers would be best friend, friends, and associates. The truth behind this system is that it does some individuals no justice in what they have done for my life. For whatever the situation may be, I will always feel like some people deserve to be in a higher tier than they are but if I am being honest they just don't fit the bill. Putting a definition to these tiers will make what I am trying to say clear.
For me a best friend is someone I can trust to be their with me for the rest of my life. That is it. If I believe you will be there supporting me fifty years down the line then I consider you a best friend. The catch is I don't trust people easily. I don't know the future and I make very little bets on the future. But it is something special about the people I consider my best of friends. I feel extremely comfortable and happy knowing these certain people are in my corner. I feel like I will never be alone with them. This trust factor is the only real foundation that separates the best friends from the friends. The love and respect I feel for these individuals is built on an enormous amount of trust. Trust with my life, dreams, and anything else that requires a massive amount of trust.
I am a firm believe that friends come and go. It could be a year or five but eventually we will just part ways. Those moments we do share are equally as special as the moments I share with my best friends. These friends essentially are not treated that much different than my best friends. I would love for them to become my best friends but I understand things happen. I can enjoy memories with my friends and engage in deep thoughts with them. I want to see these people succeed and I feel genuine support for them as well. I would even go the extra mile for someone I considered a friend. If they needed money or a favor ill be more than glad to assist them. Its not because i expect it in return but because I want to see my friends happy and succeed as if they were my best friend. Even if they wont be around in my life forever that is just something I would do for my friend.
Before I explain the last one, I want to express that the lines between best friends and friends can be confusing at times. After all I cannot predict the future. I truly do not know who will be in my life 10 years down the line and that does leave me exposed to hurt if I am wrong. I live with that and I am okay with that. The people I call best friend have earned my trust over the years and I don't believe the people I do call my best friend will ever go away. I am aware that my definition blends between the two groups but that is because I want people to move about the spectrum how they wish. If they want to be my best friend that is always an option. If you want to just be friends that is always there as well.
People who are associates to me are just individuals that happen to know my name or someone I see around a lot. I really don't care to hang out with them or learn anything about them. Really just a hello type of situation. The reason someone would be an associate to me is if I don't know them well enough. I haven't met many personalities that I couldn't be friends with. Associates are also people that know me well but I don't know them. I use to be a resident assistant back in college and that job lead to a good amount of people knowing who I was without me remembering them.
This is just my minor take on friendship. I really wanted to express my take on an excellent topic from "Movicky". Big props to her for talking about a really cool topic!
