An Open Apology To The Person I Left Behind | The Odyssey Online
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An Open Apology To The Person I Left Behind

I'm so sorry.

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An Open Apology To The Person I Left Behind
Elizabeth Messina

To the person who I had to leave behind,

I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I'm just not the person who can give you all that you deserve. You deserve the world, you deserve someone who can make time stop in front of your eyes. You deserve someone who will be there for you when you follow your dreams.

I'm sorry that person just can not be me. I have dreams for myself, and my dreams will just never be able to match up to yours.

Your smile still makes my heart stop. It still makes me smile, it still puts butterflies into my stomach. Every day I think about you, I think about where you are and what you're doing. I think about how proud I am of you for chasing your dreams. I think about how the time we spent together were some of the best moments I've ever lived. You made me feel alive again, you made me see the world through your eyes.

The sky became so blue, when it rained it rained so much harder. When the sun shined you made the heat so much warmer and you made the green trees so much more intense. You made me wish that nights never ended, that the sun would never come up because when it did I would have to watch you drive away.

Watching you leave made my stomach turn into knots. The moment your car disappeared tears fell down my face for hours. Hours turned into days. And days turned into weeks. You leaving hurt more than I could've ever imagined.

I fell in love with you. I fell in love with the way you made me laugh every time I sat in the passenger seat. I fell in love with the way you would place your hand on my knee while you drove, or the way that when I woke up every morning you'd kiss my forehead. You'd call me beautiful, you'd bat your eyelashes and your hazel eyes would make my legs jello.

I'm sorry that I have to leave all that behind because everything right happened at all the wrong times.

I'm sorry that I can't be there to fill the same role that I once did, to love you the way that I once did. But everything we went through-the good and the bad-I wouldn't change for anything. I'm sorry I can't be your perfect fit.

I hope all your dreams come true, and I hope you never lose your beautiful smile.

I love you. And I'm so sorry I can't be the forever I had hoped to be.

-xo

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