We often hear things that we automatically toss into our drawer of cliches. "Love yourself" and "believe in yourself" are two cliches that we all have probably heard several times throughout our lives. These phrases, however, are important for us to understand and live by. Sometimes, these wonderful reminders can bring fresh, new perspectives and can free ourselves from our mundane, stressful lives.
1. Loving yourself is not synonymous with being stuck-up and narcissistic.
Instead, loving yourself means understanding that we all make mistakes and that our mistakes become failures only if we do not learn from them. You making a mistake does not mean you are worth less than anyone else. You making a mistake does not mean you are stuck. You not trying to understand and fix your mistake, however, may. Instead of thinking of the things that you could have, would have, or should have done, focus on what you can do.
2. It is okay to save yourself first.
Loving others is definitely a must, but you need to love yourself first. If you are not happy within yourself, feel uneasy or unsure of yourself, or feel pressurized in any relationship, then it is okay to save yourself first. You may feel as if you are betraying others or disregarding their emotions, but you aren't. You are merely taking care of yourself in time of need. Your heart and your well-being come first. Once you feel as if you understand yourself enough (there is never a time where you will feel fully content with your understanding because it is a constant process throughout your lifetime), you can continue to transcend in other aspects of your life. If you had to let go of a relationship in order to work on yourself and know what you want, then trust that it has the potential to rekindle. If the relationship was important enough to you, you can always try to fix it; the other person may understand where you are coming from, especially if they want the best for you.
3. Loving yourself can help you love others.
Personally, throughout my life, I have met people and talked to very close friends worried about breaking up with their significant others because they are afraid of being alone. Being alone is definitely intimidating at first, but it is not the be all end all. Once you are able to enjoy the time within yourself, you will easily be able to enjoy your time with others because you will know how you feel in their presence. You have heard this before: you will have to live with yourself for your whole life, so you need to pay attention to your needs and what makes you happy. If you know how you feel in the presence of certain people, you can decide whether or not you want them in your life, and if that particular relationship can further help you grow as a person, friend, significant other, etc.
4. Stop comparing yourself to others.
A lot of times, our unhappiness stems from what others say to us and how others perceive us. When I say that we need to stop thinking about how others see us, I mean that we also need to stop seeing ourselves as less. By comparing ourselves to others, we are only bringing ourselves down and stunting our potential. Instead, learning from each other and bringing the best out of each other can help us love ourselves and each other. The world is so much more beautiful with people who are unique in their own way.
5. Having faith in yourself and what you do is very important.
Next time you are thinking negatively (which may not even be your fault, trust me, I understand), ask yourself how this thought or this outlook benefits you and your personal growth. If it does not, which 9 out of 10 times it really does not, then you will have to change your perspective and attitude on the situation. Take a step back, take a few deep breaths, and have faith in your potential as a person. Having a positive outlook and appreciating yourself, others, and the privilege you have will really take you a long way.
Let us end with another cliche:
Remember, none of this is easy, but that does not mean you stop trying.
XOXO
