There’s nothing that brings together students of all ages like summer. No matter how old you are, the months following the school year are to be celebrated. Within the confines of those sacred two to three months, we’re plagued with grandiose expectations and standards as to how to live out your days of freedom. We’re all familiar with the propaganda fed to us by TV shows and movies, which according to them summer is a time for endless road trips, bumming it at the beach every day, hanging out with every friend you’ve ever made, attend countless parties, bonfires and of course perfect tans. Now don’t get me wrong, these summers do exist. For a portion of the population, this is a very real depiction of what summer is like.

But what about the rest? What about the people whose summers are seen as a failure because they spent it at home, or working, or studying? What about those whose life really took off when they moved away, making summer vacations home duller than they’d like? What about those who feel as though they’ve wasted their time just because their experience doesn’t compare to the rest?

Call it silly or immature, but one of the biggest problems a college student faces is the realization that the summers as they knew them are no longer a reality. It’s facing a summer spent on the couch, or finding a job, or at school. It’s coming to terms with the idea that maybe the life they once had at home is no longer completely theirs. It’s not easy, and it puts a slight damper on your vision of what your summer was supposed to look like. It’s kind of crushing – to think that you had lived somewhere for the grand majority of your life somewhere but you can’t seem to fully enjoy your summer because you’re falling short. You wonder why you don’t get to spend your time having as much fun as your friends look like they’re having in all their Instagram pictures. You wonder if it’s selfish of you to wish you wish you had less time at home and more time back at school. You wonder if it’s just you, if you just didn’t try hard enough to have this great adventure of a summer.

Suddenly you’re in a full blown existential crisis.

Sometimes all it takes is a step back to admire the bigger picture. What does it even mean to have an “ideal summer”? Wouldn’t it depend on the person experiencing it? There are so many of us struggling to live up to the summer hype that we forget that sometimes the summer get is the summer we need. Sometimes you need to be spending three months laying around the house while with your siblings catching up on TV shows you didn’t watch without the other. Sometimes you need to run errands with your mom all day just to be around her. Sometimes you need to have long conversations with your dad to make up for all the ones you couldn’t have over the phone. Sometimes you need to spend an extended period of your life relaxing and focusing on yourself and figuring out what you want.

There’s no such thing as a wasted summer, a fact I’m slowly coming to terms with as my slow summer comes to a close. Everything will work out the way it does for a reason, even if you don’t see it right away. You will get your shot at the idyllic of your dreams, but maybe you have to work up to it. Maybe taking it slow is the best way for you to plan for a more adventurous future. Always take advantage of the time you have, and continue to improve and motivate yourself, but never consider time spent on yourself as time wasted simply because you don’t associate it with the common ideal.