When you hear the word “step-parent”, the evil stepmom from Cinderella comes to mind most of the time. She was evil and mean, and she didn’t treat Cinderella like she treated her own. Sometimes, things with our parents just don’t work out the way we think they should. Parents get divorced, and while we expect them to be single for the rest of our lives, that just isn’t the case.
Your dad brings a new woman to meet you, and you’re so reluctant because she just isn’t your mom. They eventually get married, and you feel some resentment because you wanted things to work themselves out so badly. “Step-parent” isn’t a really good word because when someone has been in your life for so long and has loved you as their own you don’t really know the difference anymore.
It’s understandable that you aren’t happy with the situation. Things change, and new people come into your life. Give them a chance. You may turn out to have the best step-parent in the world, and you just didn’t know it. Don’t give them such a hard time because they just might turn out to be your best friend. It may be hard to accept the situation at first because you’re hurt and scared you’ll have to choose one parent over the other, but that isn’t true at all.
Truth is, this isn’t easy for them either. They’re taking on the task of getting to know a child and accept them as their own. They may have never had children, and they are nervous about what you will think of them. Sometimes, you lose a parent and gain a step-parent. Some step-parents have the worry they will never be accepted by you, and they feel they have so much to live up to. It is a true task to seek the approval of their significant other’s child. They may feel like they have tons of expectations to meet.
It takes a truly good person to take on someone else’s children and accept them as their own. You may turn out to be closer to your stepparent than your own parent. They have to put up with you in your rebellious teenage years, and sometimes, they have to take the place of your parents and take you to ball games, appointments, etc.
My dad got remarried when I was 10, and I didn’t want it to happen. I didn’t realize at the time that he was the happiest he had ever been (except when I came along). We had our differences, a lot of differences actually that were mostly my doing. Most of the time, you will butt heads some. I have eventually become closer to her than my own mother, and I wouldn’t trade her for the world even when I am stubborn. She has been there for me through things that you would expect most parents to be there for, but my mom wasn’t. She never had children, and she took me in (along with her family) and raised me as her own.
It never hurts to open your heart up to someone new because you never realize how big of a blessing they can be. A step-parent is so much more than a word. When you gain a step-parent you may gain a best friend, a new parent, a confidant and so on.
