If you met me in my first year of high school, you would likely find me high-strung and well, simply not very fun. I would describe myself this way, that is. I would stand still at all school dances if I even went at all due to my inability to feel comfortable dancing. I was rigid and stiff, likely because I wasn't too confident in myself at the time. To be fair, what high school student is?

At this point, I was still passionate about music, just in a different way. I have been playing the violin since the sixth grade, and I loved listening to classical music. For about four years, I didn't really listen to anything else. For some reason, however, something changed freshman year. I went through an odd phase that I called my "stoner hippie music" phase. This phase lasted maybe four months until something radical happened.

On June 01, 2016, my grandfather died. This led to a week of hell on earth for my family. Within the span of seven days, we experienced one event after another of shock and heartbreak. I stayed with my best friend for three days to escape from the world. I was not happy.

But then I discovered Animal Collective.

I should preface by saying I have always been different. I love the idea of finding new things that go against the grain. Not that I intentionally find things to isolate myself from the status quo, but I am enamored of learning more about myself and the things that make me unique. Animal Collective is exactly that.

I found this band completely by an act of God. As I was feeling sad about my grandfather and my family, I became curious and open to new music that could potentially make me feel better. Exactly two weeks after my grandpa's death, I was watching one of my favorite YouTubers, Grav3yardgirl, who shared a song by the Collective. I listened to it and didn't like it. But! I couldn't stop thinking about it... there was something so ominously different and supernatural about their sound, something that I still haven't found an emulation of to this day.

As I kept coming back to that first song, I loved it more and more. I later found out that their roots lead to an eternal admiration for the monumentally influential Grateful Dead. As it turns out, I also found out this band was one of my grandpa's favorites. Like I said, an act of God.

All of this happened four years ago, and I still think about it because it changed my life. Finding Animal Collective allowed me to find Of Montreal, who might put on the most fun concerts ever. Of Montreal led me to Mass Gothic, which led me to an array of new-age gothic bands such as The Birthday Massacre, John Maus, and Ashbury Heights, as well as more classic goth bands like KMFDM, Bauhaus, and The Cure. These discoveries have changed my life, as well as I am discovering new ways to express myself aesthetically as I listen along with icons of idiosyncrasy.

Now you are all caught up with my internal development as it correlates to my ever-evolving taste in music. Not many things mean as much to me as music does, a feat of which my father is very proud.

Who knows what the next chapter will be? I hope it's as exciting as these. In the meantime, thank you Grav3yardgirl, and thank you, Animal Collective.