You see me every day. The wallflower holding up the wall at a school dance. The girl who never raises her hand in class even though she knows the answer. The girl standing in a group of friends, but never says a word. You have assumed various things about my actions like: "She is just too good to talk to me" or "She only talks to people she is close with". Some people actually assume the correctly in saying, "She is just an introverted person".
I never really wanted to label myself as introverted. It seemed like by labeling myself I was putting myself in that box and that I would never come out. However, I couldn't deny how I would rather spend my days alone in my room watching TV or reading book than hanging out with my friends. At parties, I would also look for ways to escape and be by myself than talking to people. It is not like I didn't enjoy spending times with my friends or going to parties. Just doing these activities would drain my energy quickly and I found my mind roaming to what I would do once I got home.
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I love to fade into the background and become invisible, like a chameleon. It is where I feel most comfortable. I get to watch the body language of people to understand what kind of person they are. Instead of actively doing it face to face. Until the day, scientists create a device that allows me to speak directly into people's mind. I don't see the point of small talk. Talking for no reason uses my energy that I could put into use elsewhere.
So, yes, I could not deny it any longer. I am an introvert, but does that mean I have an introvert all the time. No, of course not. I have learned to treat my introvertness like a switch. When I come to a switch where I need it I turn it off. It can be uncomfortable at first but as I go along I find the situation is not that bad. I make sure to include days in week where I have the necessary alone time to recover from straining myself to be socialable. I can still get drained and at those times I find an okay time to be introvert again.
For all those introverts that feel like they will always be that way. You won't. Take pleasue in the small victories of going against what your comfortable with until one day you will see you can do it regulary. Also, you will find someone you can be complelety comfortable with that you won't have to worry about being an introvert around them because they will like you either way.
