Prologue-

Before I begin, I would like to say that if you are uncomfortable reading or talking about sex, do not continue reading this article. I am a very open book and I tell it like it is. I have no shame in speaking about the whereabouts of my sex life or about the topic in general.

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If you are like me, you’d know that sex drives your very being. It motivates you and makes you feel alive. You feel and use every one of your 5 senses and the invigoration cannot be stopped. In my opinion, no matter how shitty your day, week, month or year is going, having sex makes it hundreds of times better…especially if it’s good. Your body needs the stimulation and sex is known to be very healthy for you. But what happens to you when you don’t have sex for a long period of time??

Well my friends, I am very pleased to talk about my experience with you.

I am sad to say that exactly a year ago to this very date (11/27/16), was the last time I had sex. Yes, I know it’s pretty pathetic but it happens. Also, I know that I have gone 14 years of my life without having sex before, but I was a child so those years don’t even count in my opinion. Not having sex for that long really changes you, especially if you were so used to doing the act at least twice a month. A large factor that contributed to this drought was the fact that also on this day a year ago was the day my son was conceived…Woohoo! SO, for 9 long months I was alone and pregnant and the rest of the year I was just plain ol’ alone.

Over this year, I have learned a lot about myself. I have learned more about myself in this year alone than I have in the past 3 years. I learned how to be independent, I figured out how to give myself an orgasm in less than 10 minutes, I learned how to be alone and accept it. Now while all of those are positive factors to the “dry spell” there are the big and bad ones. Throughout the course of the year, I found myself to be depressive and very melancholic. The thought of being alone and having no one to hold me tore me up inside. I was moody and my temper became a short fuse and it wasn’t just my radical hormones. I realized it all wasn’t just a part of my pregnancy about 2 months ago when I found myself freaking out and getting pissed off at everything. Another negative side to the year without rain is the simple fact that I feel unattractive. Every guy that has come (sort of ) my way, always ends up not working out. I know it’s not because of my looks or my body because I know very well I look damn near perfect for a woman who just had a baby 3 months ago. I know it’s not my personality. I honestly think it’s just my crappy luck driving me in circles.

Now I know you might be thinking now that I might be some nymphomaniac and who knows maybe there is a slight chance that I could be. You might tell me to get over it or get a better vibrator but I don’t think you really understand. It’s an empty feeling. I desire to sit atop someone and make them feel like the king of the world while I feel like their queen. I want to feel the heat off of another’s body and have their every notion affect me in a way that I cannot even explain. I want to feel a belonging to someone and bask in their arms after perpetual bliss. I just need to feel worthy of something like that again. I just want to feel.