Recently I realized that most of you don’t know me. Well I mean, most of you know me but you don’t really know me. Does that makes sense?
Anyways, I’ve realized that it was probably a bit odd for people to read these very personal blog post about someone that they have little to no background about. So to make up for that mistake, here I am, writing a blog post about me.
Ugh.
I’ve never been great at these types of things. As much as I’m supposed to be “loving myself”, writing about myself is a whole different ballpark.
Well, my name is Jennifer Leather, I was born at the Jordan Hospital in Plymouth, MA but I’ve spent my whole life on Cape Cod.
My name is Jennifer Leather but I go by Jen and I really love my family and friends.
My name is Jen Leather; a lot of people think my last name is really cool but then they get to know me..
Why am I so bad at this?
I’m Jen. I would tell you where I live but where I live says almost nothing about who I am. But if you would really like to know, I live in Cape Cod. I'm graduated from High school and am very eager to start college and to pursue my career as a journalist.
….
And this is what I hate about this writing about yourself crap; nobody ever really expresses who they are. But, I’m going to tell you exactly who I am. I’m going to be vulnerable and brutally honest.
I’m Jen and I’m pretty messed up.
There, I said it.
I’m unstable and sad most of the time. I have struggled with depression, anxiety, and OCD all of my life, which causes me to make impulsive decisions that usually backfire on me. I laugh at my own stupid jokes. Usually I say dumb things like “Frankenstein invented the light bulb” without even thinking, which causes people to look down on me like I’m stupid. Oh yeah, and I forgot the most important thing; I’m fat.
But this isn’t how I want people to see me.
I want people to look at me and see the struggles I’ve overcome with my interior conflict. I want people to look at me and know that the impulsive actions I make are just that- impulsive. I want people to know that when I say stupid things it’s not because I’m stupid, but rather because I have a learning disability that causes me to say and do things without processing them beforehand. I want people to look at me and know that my weight is derived by my PCOS (Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome) which is a condition that makes it hard for people to lose weight.
I’m aware of how people see me and how that affects how I see myself, but I also know what I’ve been through and how those struggles will always overcome the labels.
This is how people see me.
This is sometimes how I see myself.
Hopefully in the future that will all change.
