One of the most eye opening aspects to attending a University as diverse and large as Syracuse is that you'll be able to meet people from all walks of life. During a conversation with a friend, I discovered that she had a friend of a friend of a friend (you know how these things go...) who was working as an escort. For the sake of her and the privacy of her clients, all names will be changed.
Early last week, I sat down with *Eve Adam's and she opened up about her experiences as an escort. Although she was too young when she had first heard of the service as a junior in high school, the idea peaked her interest so much so that once she hit her first year of college, she downloaded the app (Seeking Arrangements) and began to build her clientele.
Initially, she thought that the idea of going out with a man more than twice your age was extremely creepy - as many of us would, "I low key thought it was creepy, but also genius at the same time," Eve says. As a soon to be struggling college student, the service seemed like a sure fire way to bring in steady money without having to do too much work or maintain a rigid schedule.
Eve's first experience with a client was when she was a freshmen here at SU. His name was *Paul and he was the exact opposite of what she was expecting, "He seemed like a really nice guy, not that creepy, and wanted a strictly online relationship at first. The first time I met with a client was with Paul as well." I think one of the most important things to mention about Eve is how extremely careful she was throughout this entire process. Not only did she wait and get to know the man before agreeing to meet up, but she also set up precautionary back ups just in case the date went south. Later she realized that Paul didn't have the financial means to support the life style she was seeking which resulted in her ending the relationship, "I usually ask them the basics...because it's so hard for someone my age to relate to them [middle aged wealthy men]." The sole purpose of "Seeking Arrangements" is to essentially bring young women who desire a specific lifestyle or are simply in need of some money together with older men who are able to provide them with these things.
Apparently, much of the stigma that surrounds being an escort or sex worker (in this fashion) doesn't live up to it's stereotypes, "The dirtiness of it is definitely a stereotype... When you think of an escort service you think of dirty dirty men, but these are successful wealthy guys. Everything is super protected, super safe, and both parties have to feel comfortable for it to work...A stigma is that women who are doing it are doing it for drugs or ulterior motives, and that's not always true. A lot of girls do it to pay off their school tuition or for extra spending cash."
With a market as dependable as middle aged rich men, young women all over the place are turning to escort services to help fund not only a lavish lifestyle, but also their education. Eve has a few close friends who were aware of what she was doing who decided to become involved in the service as well.
For Eve, it was the consistent cash flow that prompted her to get physical with the clients. According to her, you could make a couple hundred with a coffee date, but you could bring in thousands if you were willing to go further than niceties, "It was more of a waste of time and energy to get all dolled up for a coffee date when the real money was in getting physical." This forced Eve to really break down the risk-versus-reward factors of what it was she would be doing. Not only was she at risk in a safety aspect, but now she had to confront the fear that came with it leaking that she was having sex with clients for financial compensation (basically becoming a prostitute and therefore risk being reported as such).
One of her biggest concerns is getting jobs later in life and how draining the stress of it all can become, "It's super exhausting emotionally because you know you're doing something that isn't really right, but not entirely wrong. For me before I started I would look at someone who was doing it and be like 'What the hell is she doing?' And what about my future relationships? Like if my husband were to ever find out about what I'm doing or my family I would be so embarrassed about it..." Overall, the main factor that would lead her to quit is simply whether or not she views it as being worth the risk anymore.
A large part of this entire industry and the nervousness of Eve surrounds our societies tendency to slut shame, "I'm trying to push the morality of it aside so that I can use a system and [those who govern] it in the way that they think they're using me [hypersexulaization of women]...It's been ingrained in me since I was young by my mom, by society, etc. that nobody likes a slut. And it's so sad, but it's so true. I've even done it before, it's such an easy way to bring a woman down...Even on the way here I was thinking about how like I could be labeled as a promiscuous woman and therefore I'm not desirable [as a partner] in a relationship, or how guys don't want someone who's already been used." - Ideas that have been pushed on her by a contradicting culture that hypersexualizes women while simultaneously screaming that they need to "keep it in their pants."
Eve wanted to make sure all of the readers of her story knew this if nothing else: "I've been used so many times in my life and for me, doing this was empowering. I don't know how long I'll continue doing it because as I'm getting older there's different things I need to worry about. If you're going to do this you HAVE to do your research and keep yourself safe above all else."
