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An Apology To The Pizza Delivery Man

There's no better feeling than a warm pizza box in your lap.

Claire Collins

Jan 31, 2016

University of Northern Iowa

Dear pizza delivery man,

I was thinking about you the other day (which now that I'm thinking about it, there are multiple of you) but anyways, I was thinking about all the pizza delivery men that have delivered pizza to me at my apartment and all the crap they had to go through. Like seriously, I would hate having to drive in the snow or rain just to literally deliver food to a person on their couch.It's a super cool concept getting food delivered to you--whether it be pizza, Jimmy John's, Chinese places--but we don't appreciate the people delivering the food. So here I am, writing a letter to all those pizza delivery guys that have delivered me food to my couch.

I'd like to say I'm sorry.

1. I'm sorry for the indecisiveness of my pizza order.

I am so guilty of changing my order on the phone with you and that has to be so confusing. You hear girls screaming in the background "No, I want pepperoni instead" and I change it, and then we realize we could do half pepperoni and half cheese and change it again. You never seem to get mad on the phone and our order is always right. I'm so sorry for making it complicated on the phone, however thank you for listening and getting the order perfect!

2. I'm sorry for forgetting the address to where I am.

I'm sorry for saying "hold on one sec" on the phone and screaming to my roommate "DUDE, WHAT'S THE ADDRESS AGAIN?" because I either forget your ear is on the phone and I'm practically screaming in it, or I just never know my address. I know you would think I would have it memorized from ordering pizza all the time, but somehow it slips my mind on the phone every time.

3. I'm sorry for my appearance at the door.

You've seen me at my best and my worst. Whether it's me rolling out of bed from hearing you knock and looking like I'm hungover (which I probably was at the time), or crying from the stresses of school, or in a robe because I'm getting ready to go out and got hungry in the process. I'm sorry for answering the door looking (and smelling) disgusting.

4. I'm sorry for my dogs barking

I'm sorry for my dogs barking at you until your car leaves the driveway. I'm telling you, my dogs can smell you and the pizza a mile away. Thanks for having patience when they are barking and me saying "How much do I owe you?" five different times from me not hearing you. You're a real gem with lots of patience.

5. I'm sorry for not tipping you much.

This one I am the most sorry for. You deserve so much more than the $5 I handed you at the door. You're delivering my pizza to my doorstep and for that I feel like I owe you millions. Without you, I probably wouldn't be eating pizza as much as I do (which might be actually be a good thing with spring break coming up, but whatever).

6. I'm sorry for the drunk nights when I order pizza and fall asleep waiting for you.

I'm sorry for making you drive all the way to my apartment and not answering the door. Believe me, I woke up that morning so disappointed I went to bed without a box of pizza by my side, but I bet you were disappointed I fell asleep. I will try to not fall asleep ever again (no promises though).

People appreciate you, especially me. If we didn't have a food delivery system, I'm not sure what we would do (we would actually probably be a lot skinnier but hey, all good -- pizza on the couch!) Thank you for delivering my pizza to my doorstep.

Sincerely,

The girl who adores pizza delivery and you!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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