Dear Amazing, Spectacular Editor (and anyone else who happens to read this),
I'm sad to inform you, but there will be no regularly scheduled article for the week. Sadly (besides the fact I used the adjective sad twice in the past two sentences), I thought today was Wednesday. It is in fact Thursday, which is the deadline for our articles.
I'd like to say that I have been spending my week doing something extremely productive, but that would be a heinous lie. I have a scholarship application that I just found out is due in less than a week, and even that has met the deadly beast of procrastination.
What type of procrastination, you may ask, is slaying my work ethic like a medieval knight? Believe it or not, the internet (aka the bane of the millennial era) has succeeded in sending my mind flying in a multitude of directions. Here are some examples of my exploits:
- Wondering if I should be singing in higher or lower ranges
- Wondering if I should be singing at all
- Trying to play the bongos
- Wondering if I can sing and play the bongos at the same time
- Questioning my relationship status
- Pondering if Tinder is a good idea
- Trying to find a good profile picture for Tinder
- Trying to think of a good bio for Tinder
- Searching the internet for good Tinder picture and bio ideas
- Watching YouTube
- Wondering if I should make a YouTube
- Wondering if there is a market for singing bongo players
- Wondering if that's worthy of being in the Tinder bio
- Finding the "your article is due in less than 30 minutes" message on my phone
As you can see, it has been a bit of a rough day (in the sense of the first-world definition). I have not had any military weapons dropped on my house however, and the biggest natural calamity that struck my current location only succeeded in getting slush into my shoes, so I guess I can't complain.
What was I talking about again?
Oh well, have a good evening!
- Joseph
