For me music is a lot like my personality, I can make my instruments sound like its the happiest sound in the world. But, in reality the lyrics are depressing, dark, and poetic. It marks my plurality. My many faces manufactured for those I am around. A lot of college students (or people in general) probably feel the exact same way. Laughing, and smiling on the outside with a joyous mask on. While on the inside your laughing, and crying tears of insanity. Someone asks "how are you" and you answer good, when you're really screaming on the inside with your face that is in constant agony. You could only muster out a "good" because, your own sanity has you held hostage. If I say "bad" what will they think of me? If I say ok, will they take it as if I was hiding something from them? Now that you asked how are you, I feel ten times more anxious to be completely honest with you. What should I say? Should I be honest? In a poetic farce the answer 'good' to the question "how are you" has ironically become a cry for help. Todays generation is a generation suffering from anxiety. I'm one of them.
Anxiety is kind of like having everyone in the room accuse you of a crime you didn't even know existed. Then ultimately in mass confusion you agree with them that you did said crime, even though you had nothing to do with it at all. To have someone then come to me and say that someone took my place for said crime. Just makes me even more anxious. What does this man want in return? He must be plotting against me. He then tells me not to be anxious in any way. To focus on the present. Now I'm being anxious about being anxious. Am I giving you anxiety just by writing this? Maybe. Now I'm anxious about you being anxious. So how can we not be anxious?
Well, if you suffer from anxiety like I do. There's no real answer. You'll always be anxious about something. But, don't be disheartened by this. There are ways to lighten your load. There's a place to come as you are. There's a place where you don't have to hide your constant fretting. A place that is full of people that feel like they are guilty. A place where rescue begins. A place where you can listen to an old lady play a piano ballad of grace. A place where when someone asks how are you doing, you don't have to say good. This place is the church. Maybe this place hasn't been kind to you before. Maybe you just get anxiety by thinking about it. Maybe you are at this place already, but don't feel like its like this for you. Hit the reset button. Be more honest in this place. Be honest in this place. Because when Jesus said to live in the present, he knew this was no easy task for mere mortals. Were only mortal for a while after all. He wants you to be anxious for each other. He wants you to be anxious for today. Channel that anxiety to being anxious for each other. Be nervous for how each other are that day. Easier said then done. But, church is just like music. A happy instrumental, with dark lyrics. A happy structure, with broken people.
