"New year, new me!" you excitedly exclaimed a mere four weeks ago upon waking up covered in confetti and way too bloated from all the finger foods you helped yourself to at various NYE fiestas just the night before. A new year just seems so refreshing, anything can happen, you can be anyone you want to be, you can change your life in a year. You just know it. This is your year, it's finally your time, you can feel it in your veins. Yeah, you have said this every Jan. 1 since you were like 12, sure, whatever. But this year? This is the year. No more messing around. This. Is. It

You wake up, it's the first of January. While nuzzled in your cocoon of blankets, you soak up the last remaining moments of "old you." You're mindlessly daydreaming of all the awesome changes you are going to make this year. You make a list with vague and abstract goals like, eat healthier, work out more, actually do your homework, be nicer, et cetera.

Nervously, you stop here. It's good to end on an even number and you don't want to get ahead of yourself. Then you realize that you have mindlessly began nibbling on cold pizza for breakfast while brainstorming all the things you need to spruce up about yourself. You look at the clock, it's 2 p.m. and you are still in your PJ's. "Come on," you grumble. This is your year, remember. Ehh, whatever, you'll start tomorrow.

January second. It's the real deal this time, you think, as you roll out of bed at 7 a.m., lace up your running shoes and grab an apple as you head out for a run. OK, you ran to the end of the drive way and realized you should probably start with power-walking but whatever, exercise is exercise. You come home, give your mom a kiss on the cheek, tidy up your room, do some laundry, take a nice long shower, put on--wait for it-- jeans, and head out to tackle your day. Man, feels good to be the new you, doesn't it? Why didn't you do this years ago?

You are back at school. You're so sore you can barely move, you are starving and might be turning into an actual salad from eating so much of it. Being starving makes you hangry, so it's really hard to be nice right now. Classes started yesterday and you managed to slip your sore (but already much more toned) legs into the holes. Are they looser? Maybe you just forgot to wash them. That's OK though, you're keeping up with cleaning your dorm room and doing your laundry, you'll get them in the next load. Speaking of loads, you have loads of homework, too. Yeah, that might be a problem if you were a procrastinator still. But you're not. You get all your homework done the night it's assigned to you. Waking up early is a bit of a struggle, and makes it a little hard to be your new positive self all the time, but it's a sacrifice you are willing to make. The new you is so close you can taste it. There is no way you are giving up now.

OK, maybe you're not so close you can taste new you after all. You've had a few cheat days, skipped the gym once or twice. Sweats are an easier option for class after an early morning run and those morning runs are coming later and later in the day as you just can't keep your hands off your snooze button. These professors must have known you were planning on trying to actually do your homework this semester because they sure are assigning a lot. You might have come down with a "stomach bug" that kept you from your 8 a.m. for two days this week. Being nice all the time, honestly, is so exhausting. But hey, Rome wasn't built in a day. Persistence is key. You can do this! Power through!

Eating healthy has evolved into eating less of all the greasy foods you know and love. Are french fries a veggie? One visit to the gym a week wills suffice, you're eating less. Forget dressing nice, you're lucky if you muster up the energy to change out of the outfit you slept in the night before. Looks aren't everything after all. You literally cannot hold back your sassy comments to the people walking slow in front of you...or the person who made the stupid comment in class...or the person who looked at you wrong in the McD's breakfast line this morning. Waking up early? Yeah, what were you thinking after all. Sleep is healthy. Your room is a disaster you can't even see your bed from the accumulating pile of clothes and guess what? You just do not care anymore. Your 8 a.m.? Pretty much a lost cause, the professor doesn't take attendance so it's kind of like you didn't even miss, right?

Forget it, there's always next year.