As (I would hope) many of you guys know, my favorite comedian/goddess, Amy Schumer has a sketch show on Comedy Central. Quite recently the show aired a sketch on her show that really resonated with me even more than her others usually do. The scene began with a heterosexual couple in bed about to have sex and the man in this situation continuously gives Amy mixed signals about how much sexual experience he wants her to have had. He asks Amy questions about how many men she's been with and two particular examples of his confusing desires was that he wanted her to "be like a sexual Goodwill Hunting [with] no formal education, but when [she] sees [his] dick, [she] just gets it" and "be like Dora the Explorer but [her] passport's filled to the brim". Although that and his countless other requests were exaggerated and played for laughs, Amy Schumer really tackled a serious issue in her "Madonna/Whore" episode
As many girls have been frustrated to find out as they get further into adulthood, there is a sort of unwritten double standard when it comes to sexual experience in men and women. Men are often put on a pedestal and revered by their fellow men with the more women they sleep with and women are put down when they are in a similar situation. In many instances this "experience" comes in your early 20s and/or your college years and your late 20s is often seen as the time to "settle down". And when that time comes, a lot of men often want a "good girl" who has saved their innocence/purity/what have you for them and only them. Buuuut, at the same time, not knowing what you're doing in bed is not sexy. THAT IS SIMPLY NOT FAIR.
Yeah yeah I know, it's 2016 and things are getting better/more progressive and a lot of guys don't care about how many people their significant other has been with before them #notallmen #igetit, but this is clearly still a problem that needs to be addressed. Although women shouldn't really give a damn about what a man wants from them, Amy Schumer really accurately (and hilariously I might add) captured how confusing it can be for single ones out in the dating world this day and age. If as a young woman, I've come to expect whatever guy I begin seeing to have had sex before, yet other men and (yes, even other females) still feel the need to question me and other women about their sexual experience, THAT IS UNFAIR.
However unnerving this situation is to me, and many other women out there, there may be a possible solution that is as plain as day: Don't give in. What do I mean by that? Well, I mean just don't give in when other men you are seeing ask about how many other people you've been with BECAUSE IT SHOULDN'T MATTER. Don't give them some fake number of people just to make him or you feel better BECAUSE IT SHOULDN'T MATTER. Don't overthink what kind of sexual oxymoron you should portray in bed with a guy, because just like the amount of HIS previous sexual encounters, IT SHOULDN'T MATTER. Really, if a guy is so unrightfully offended at your sexual prowess, then just exit the premises BECAUSE IT SHOULDN'T MATTER