I was only eight years old when Amy Winehouse appeared on my Sanyo television, singing, "I told you I was trouble. You know I'm no good." I'd sing along to "Rehab" in elementary school while everyone else would jam to one-hit wonders or swoon over Chris Brown and Beyoncé. At a young age, I was bullied for being overweight and isolated from everyone at school. I only had one or two friends at school, but we always had on-and-off relationships, so I felt alone. However, music, writing, and drawing were the only things that kept me sane.
And then one day, my mother bought me Amy Winehouse's sophomore album "Back To Black." Since then, she's always had an impact on me.
Amy Jade Winehouse, born Sept. 14, 1983, was most popular for combining doo-wop soul, R&B, and jazz together. She was influenced by many jazz artists, such as Sarah Vaughan and Dinah Washington. Her deep, unique voice matched the hurt and pain she expressed in her songs. In 2003, she released her debut album "Frank," which was a critical success in the UK.
Crazy thing is, I always believed her debut album was "Back To Black," and when I first listened to "Frank," it made me appreciate her versatility and eclectic style.
I've been around a lot of family members and friends alike who'd bash Amy Winehouse simply for how she looked and would mock her songs. But I always gave my support for her because she influenced my music tastes and truly helped me with my issues with low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety at a young age. I was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome at the age of 3, and socially and mentally, it was challenging for me to manage emotions and interact with others around me. So, Amy Winehouse was my remedy.
Over the years, Winehouse garnered negative media attention, centering around her substance abuse, mental illnesses, and criminal charges. In 2005, she frequently used drugs, drank alcohol, and drastically lost weight. She also reported acts of self-harm and depression that also coincided with the end of her career.
However, in 2008, she decided to quit drug use, but she eventually would relapse years later.
She died of alcohol poisoning on Jul. 23, 2011.
Hearing the news from my mother was surreal. I didn't believe this was true. I remained quiet that day— it was rainy and dark. I couldn't even touch the albums my mother bought me. I couldn't read the articles. I couldn't read the comments. But when I did, it hurt to see people say that she deserved it instead of sending condolences to someone who lost her life. She was only 27 years old, similar to a few artists like Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Cobain, and Janis Joplin.
The next day, I listened to all of her songs. But, one song that broke me down that night was "Love Is A Losing Game." The song ended and I cried like a baby.
No one could understand the connection I had with Amy; her music was honest and raw, and from what many of her family members and friends say, she was a great spirit.
Amy changed my life and allowed me to realize that I'm not the only one who goes through challenges. Everyone does.
We love and miss you, Amy Winehouse.
