During the month of October the weather is cooling down, there is a football game on most weekends, and holiday decorations fill the stores. Everything from skeletons to nativity scenes fill the shelves.

To some people this is an exciting time of year filled with special moments with family and friends. To others this season is a time where the sadness and depression that is manageable most of the year becomes so much worse.

If you have experienced a loss or other stresses in your life seeing the holiday decorations at the local store and the “Christmas countdowns” all over social media don’t bring you happiness; they are reminders of the things that you don’t have.

The first inclination is to put on a happy face and be the person that friends and family expect-- even when we feel like we are dying inside. It is okay to let yourself be sad. I, too, avoid the holidays as much as I can. I lost someone very close to me; for me, the holidays aren’t magical anymore. They are bright and shiny reminders of the memories that I will never make with my loved one.

If you are feeling down reach out and speak to someone. Monitor your own feelings and if you notice that the depressive thoughts are getting more intense go speak to someone. If it gets really bad there are medications that can be prescribed short term to help you through the holiday season. If you don’t have a friend who will just listen to you there are many places right here in North Florida where you can go for help. There are support groups for every situation in every area (see the links below). Support groups are great because you can be as quiet as you want and just listen or you can share your story with others.

If you are sad and depressed there is nothing wrong with you. Everyone has times in their life when they need a little extra help to get through. Friends, a support group, doctor, it doesn’t matter where you get help as long as you get it.

Life may seem overwhelming at times but you can’t let the sadness and depression take over. If you are in this situation get help please. You are too important to this world not to work things out.

To family and friends:

If you notice someone getting depressed during the holidays (or anytime) keep an eye on their emotions and moods (see the list of warning signs below). If they reach out to you just listen. Most people don’t want someone to come in and fix their problems even if that is what we all want to do. People who are sad and depressed just want someone to listen to them and let them be sad. A good hug and a listening ear will do more “fixing” than trying to solve their problems for them.

Depression is a real thing and it affects people with no regards to race, religion or lifestyle. Most everyone has experienced depression at one point or another in their lives. Some people need the help of counselors or medication to beat depression and that is okay too.

Life is a marathon and even the best runners need help sometime to get to the finish line.

Signs to watch out for if you think a person could harm themselves:

Feeling like you have no reason to live

Feeling like a burden to others

Feeling trapped

Unbearable pain

A person’s suicide risk is greater if a behavior is new or has increased, especially if it’s related to a painful event, loss, or change.

Increased use of alcohol or drugs

Search online for ways to harm themselves

Acting recklessly

Withdrawing from activities

Isolating from family and friends

Sleeping too much or too little

Visiting or calling to say goodbye

Giving away prized possessions

This time of year is a tough time for a lot of people. Don't feel bad if it is for you. Make sure you communicate with someone. Get help from professionals if feelings start to get out of hand.

To everyone else who busy themselves with holiday parties, gift giving, and family gathering: notice what family is not there. Be there to listen if someone needs an ear. We can not get through this life alone; we need each other.

Where to go online for more information
http://www.afsp.org

Where to find help locally
http://mhajax.org

And as always, you can call the national suicide hotline 24/7 if you or someone you know is feeling depressed or suicidal: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)