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An Ode To Amazon

Thank you, Amazon.com.

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An Ode To Amazon
Amazon

Firstly, I must honor one of the greatest benefactors to modern society, Jeff Bezos. Without him, we wouldn’t be blessed with the amazing gift we call Amazon.com. I would have no idea where to go to fill my own house and garage with random items, if not for his humble garage-based startup from where he shipped random items.

Amazon.com is, and always will be, there for you. When it’s December 22nd and you need that last-minute Christmas gift for great aunt Betty, Amazon.com will be there. When you really want that pack of chocolate-covered insects but don’t know where to go, Amazon.com will be there. When don’t want to be seen by your friends, coworkers, or the public buying the Justin Bieber album, Amazon.com will be there for you. And when you can’t leave the house because your washing machine is broken and you’re out of clean underwear, the amazing Amazon.com will be there for you.

Living in the earthly world that we do as simple humans, it’s hard for us to show our gratitude to the shopping overlord that is Amazon.com. But fear not, Amazon.com has provided a way for us to give thanks. By blessing Amazon.com with a yearly gift of $99, we are able to get closer to Amazon.com and gain the title of Prime Member.

And being a Prime Member is more than just having a title (although honestly, that’s the best part). Although we’re are the ones giving thanks, Amazon.com gives us so much more. Amazon.com shows its appreciation by entitling us to discounted prices that subordinate users don’t have access to. No longer do we need to reach a $50 cart, often filled with lots of useless and extra items, to get free shipping. No! We can buy just one useless or extra item and receive not only free, but FREE 2-DAY SHIPPING! Praise be to Amazon.com!

As if Amazon.com’s gift of discounted prices and FREE 2-DAY SHIPPING to Prime Members isn’t enough, Amazon.com has found a way to make things better still. As a Prime Member, we have access to over 2 million songs. Just a few of the hits include the latest 'Kidz Bop 33" tracks and over five different versions of Led Zepplin’s "Stairway to Heaven." All of which are free, courtesy of Prime Music.

If you’re not much of an audiophile but more of a movie connoisseur, Amazon.com has you covered, too, with the eye-catching Prime Member service known as Prime Video. With this service, you’ll find free entertainment that will last for years. Amazingly, Prime Video is stocked with well-known shows, as well as those that Amazon.com has produced itself.

If you haven’t joined as a Prime Member, do so now. Pick up your phone and download one of Amazon.com’s apps. Thank Amazon.com in the only way we are able to do so -- with your wallet, and Amazon.com will thank you with Deals Of The Day, exclusive Prime Member services, and the benefit of knowing that they are there for you.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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