Unfortunate mantras of society:
Being self-centered is normal.
It's fine to hold grudges.
We have to earn good things.
These statements are a driving force for society around us. Because of these messages all around us and due to the sinful desires of our hearts, we come to hold them as deeply-rooted truths that motivate our thoughts, words and actions. And while there are a vast majority of results from these "truths", I'll focus on one: How we perceive and forgive others is tainted with sin.
Recently, I've become more aware of how easy it is to cast blame and shame on people instead of circumstances. Often, I see a wrong that someone has committed, and immediately, I assume that the person is being selfish or rude. I don't even think twice about any other reason why the person is acting that specific way.
This tendency to blame a person's manner or character instead of their circumstances is actually an psychological effect called the fundamental attribution error. Humanity commonly does this, and likewise, opening my eyes to other possible forces is not my first reaction.
Knowing this, I've decided that it's time to start challenging societal norms to make false assumptions. Instead, I want to give grace. Grace is hard to understand because compared to common thought, it is foreign. Grace foregoes the reflex to throw up defenses and recklessly cast blame. It lays a foundation that doesn't accept grudges. It doesn't mean trying to understand the situation more clearly in order to make a rash decision; it means having a heart of forgiveness regardless.
In the past, I have received abundant grace, both from my peers and from God. Sometimes I have asked for it, but sometimes it has been given without request. From the people around me, it has felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders when I expected a disapproving glare or a negative reaction when I failed but instead received the blessing of forgiveness and grace.
Due to all the corruption and brokenness of my heart, I fail God profusely and sometimes it even feels like I just can't do anything right! The worst part is that even when I've received God's grace and gotten a fresh start, I just turn back around and do the wrong thing again. I deserve to pay for all the times I've messed up. Blessedly, His grace is more than sufficient and it renews every time I mess up. What's more is that our weaknesses are an opportunity for displaying God's greatness. He helps us in our time of failure and need, a gift that can't be earned.
2 Corinthians 12:8-9 Three times I pleaded with the
Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace
is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the
power of Christ may rest upon me.
Hebrews 4:16 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
Ephesians 2:8-9 For by grace you have been saved
through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God,
not a result of works, so that no one may boast.
Since the One who created me gives grace abundantly, I'm going to strive to do the same for everyone around me, and I challenge you to consider how you'll respond to His unending grace.
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This article is dedicated to all who have gifted me with grace. May you continue to be filled with God's grace and radiate it to everyone around you.