I am Different, I am Beautiful
I was about five feet tall, weighing approximately hundred pounds for most of my high school days. My friends on the other hand were nearly a foot taller and weighed about fifty pounds more. I was constantly asked “What happened?” and I always answered optimistically, “Evolutionary failure I guess” with a chuckle. Whenever there was a crowd I ended up memorizing the words engraved in the back of the shirts of other people.
I already stood out because I was really short and skinny at the time. Things I saw in movies that never happened in real life, happened to me. People made fun of me for being short and skinny and I was pushed and shoved to the ground in the halls. There was no escape; this occurred every day. My mother was worried about me that I never brought friends home and that I never went out to spend the night with friends. I used to make random excuses why I couldn’t go to school but I finally told her why. I remember she called the principal one night and the next day we all had this assembly to talk about how bullying was wrong. But that didn’t do anything. I was forced to go to school and classes with them. I wanted to avoid them for as long as possible. I felt as if I was being cornered. Some nights I used to get so frustrated that I wanted to bring my bat to school and swing at those bullies. Darker thoughts got hold of me briefly and I was contemplating suicide in order to escape the torture.
Others might have thought of me as an immature and inexperienced guy based solely on my height and weight but keeping these things in mind, I pushed myself into doing the extra effort to exceed expectations. I wanted to talk and have fun with others like everybody else but I was the center of laughter. I never had a girl problem either because I can say from my experience that girls do not want to hang out with a guy who reminds them of their little brother. Nevertheless, that didn’t stop me from constantly reaching out to new people and make them my friends. I began to develop the characteristics like friendliness, a sense of humor and kindness to attract friends-especially the opposite sex.
I found that, by talking to people, they were actually nice to me, and so I continued, not letting the opportunity to pass right through me, and I came to an epiphany. I wasn’t bullied because I was short and skinny, I was bullied because I was too shy and reclusive to talk to others, making me an easy target. With this knowledge in mind, I took pride in myself, and when people would try to make fun about my height and weight. I mustered my newfound confidence, making their joke my joke and laughing along with them.
Looking back now, lacking size and appearance actually helped to build my character and shape my camaraderie, diligence, empathy and laughter. Facing the bullies taught me an important lesson about humility. I am no longer a friendless wanderer; I am more extroverted and I enjoy having many friends around. My figure has helped me grow mentally and socially.
So, if you are being bullied remember that you will eventually get through it and you will become stronger. I am glad that I faced those bullies because they made me stronger than ever.
Remember, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL and I love you.