I am not what happened to me.
But sometimes I am.
Not everything happens for a reason. Not everyone can get up the next morning ready to take on the day, regardless of what happened to them the night before, the week before, the year before. To the people who can, I admire you. To the people who can't, stop feeling bad about it.
Stop feeling bad about the fact that you're being dragged through life right now, that you might want to stay in bed all day with your blankets and just cry.
Stop feeling bad about walking around mad at the world for a while, about having a perpetual sad look on your face for a while.
Stop feeling bad about feeling every emotion associated with what happened to you.
Stop feeling bad about being angry and sad and confused and hurt by what happened to you.
You have a right to feel all of these things.
Stop making people feel bad about feeling all of these things.
I am not what happened to me.
But lately, I am.
Right now I'm being dragged through life and I fight with myself every morning not to spend all day in bed with my blankets and tears.
Lately, I've been walking around each day mad at the world, mad at everyone with a perpetual sad look on my face.
Right now, I'm feeling every emotion associated with what happened to me.
Right now, I'm angry and sad and confused and hurt by what happened to me.
I have a right to feel all of these things.
I don't have to wake up tomorrow and be ready to take on the day. I am feeling what happened to me and I know that it is OK. Too often we are expected to be strong, to be optimistic and tell ourselves that "everything happens for a reason." This happened to me for a reason? No way in hell. But it happened. And this is how I'm dealing with it. I'm human. Let me feel. Let me hurt.
I am not what happened to me.
But sometimes I am.