I am not her.

I am a girl, and I have many things going on in my life, but I am not her.

I am not the best athlete, and I am not the prettiest.

I am not the happiest person, and I struggle with emotions.

I am not her.

But I am funny.
I may have the dumbest jokes and sometimes people only laugh at me because I am laughing so hard that it is contagious. But that makes me funny.

I am not her.

But I am silly.

I will do anything in my power to make you smile and to just goof around. I love to do random things and make a fool out of myself. I am silly.

I am not her.

But I do have fears.
I do not let them control me all of the time, but they do stare me in the face often. I am scared of love and life itself. I am afraid of losing you. I have fears.

I am not her.

But I am crazy.
I will say things that I will one day regret, I will drive you insane, and I will do stupid things. I will go wild and be free. I am crazy.

I am not her.

But I cannot cook.
I can grill chicken and fish. I can cook minute-rice and canned green beans. Other than that, I can make cereal. I cannot cook.

I am not her.

But I am loving.
I guarantee I will love you harder and more than anyone in your life. It will be in a different way, but it is still love. I am loving.

I am not her.

And until recently, I wanted to have all of the qualities she held, that you love. I wanted to change my beliefs, and thoughts to please you. To make myself someone worth loving.

At that point, I took a step back. Because I began to take on some of the qualities, but you still were missing. You weren't there. That is when I realized I am not her. I shouldn't want to be her. Because although I may not look like her, talk, walk, act or believe like her, I am just as good as her.

I was willing to change who I am for a man. I was willing to change who I am even though I know that it is not worth it in the end. I was willing to give up on whom I built myself to be. And that--well, that is not me.

I am the person that will hold your hand, even when you try to let go. I am the person that will smile even when it hurts. I am the person to love you for you and never ask you to change. I am the person to be there, no matter what. I am the person people love to lean on. I am the person to understand and walk with you through life.

I am not her. But also, she is not me.