I have always questioned if I make the right choices, and if I am moving my best foot forward... But this past year, in the spring I drove two hours to watch one of my friends play in a baseball game. I sat with his mom and we had a conversation that went a little like this.
“How do you like being away from everything you’ve ever known growing up?”
Me: “I love it, it’s everything I have ever dreamt of, my only worry is that my family worries constantly about me.”
“No matter where you go sweet girl, your family will always be worried, they want the best for you, reassure them that you are exactly where you should be.”
So, with that being said...
I am exactly where I should be.
This is a very broad statement, it can be interpreted into a lot of different things but to me it means that right now at this exact time sitting in my bed eating my 99 cent pastry from Panera Bread, I shouldn’t be anywhere else.
It means that even though it’s hard sometimes, I wouldn’t rather be in any other place in the whole wide world. I moved back into my dorm a couple days ago, and it was hard. I told my parents over and over I could handle it on my own, and that I would rather them come down when we could do something more fun, instead of moving and unpacking boxes. But I sit here and I refuse to lie and say that it was all rainbows and sunshine, I felt alone, sad, and I even cried. But, when I was finally all unpacked, I sat on my bed and I felt relieved, accomplished, and I even laughed. So, being where you are supposed to be, is not always rainbows and sunshine. I get homesick, I feel vulnerable, but at the end of the day when I lay my head on my pillow I know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. To be exactly where you are supposed to be is challenging, but the most rewarding feeling in the world to know that you’re on the right track. So don’t be discouraged if it gets hard. Because I promise that it will get hard, but you can and will get through it.
And I won't sugar coat this because it’s not a cake walk, and there will be tears and frustration, and even though when you think you have to it together, you’ll break. But I want you to know that it’s perfectly normal. It’s normal to cry and it’s normal to get over emotional and it’s normal to be overwhelmed. If you never felt that emotion and you never feel vulnerable, like you always have it together, you wouldn’t feel alive. Being able to feel accomplished and feel the feeling of success, you have to know what its like to fail.
So yes, I might not have it all together, but I am exactly where I am supposed to be.
