According to the world, Asexuality doesn't exist.
Newsflash world: Asexuality exists. Not only does it exist, but it is also a spectrum, which means there are many different variations of it, and many different people identify as asexual. Now, many of you are probably rolling your eyes and making jokes like "Oh so are you a plant?" or "So you reproduce with yourself?"
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I'm here to tell you that asexuality is a sexual orientation, it is a spectrum, it exists, and it is valid. I myself am demisexual, meaning I can only be in a sexual relationship with someone after forming a close bond. Now, this may seem "regular" and "shouldn't need a title," and to a point, you are almost right. However, while normal, straight passing, and natural, being demisexual isn't easy. Let me put it into perspective for you:
Throughout my whole young adult life, I felt like a freak. There were some nights I would lay in bed, weeping, wondering what the heck was wrong with me. Why was I crying? Because whenever a boy got close to me, held my hand, hugged me, etc, I would flinch. Being touched "that way" made me disgusted and terrified. I could get boyfriends; I was cute and funny, and I could very well be in a situation to have sex. But even the thought of having sex with someone made me squeamish; I felt like crying. While all my friends talked about hooking up at parties or making out with their boyfriends, all I could wonder was "What the hell is wrong with me?"
I have a significant other now, I have a sexual relationship with him. Because I know him. I found out recently that I fall under that asexual spectrum, that the reason I can have a sexual relationship with my significant other is because I love him, completely, which puts me in the demisexual area.
I don't feel like a freak anymore. I don't cry myself to sleep wondering if I'm alone. Sex scenes in movies make me uncomfortable. I only have sex like seven times a year, if that. I am valid.
Anything else? Oh yeah, telling someone they don't need a label, or that their sexuality isn't valid, means you are shoving them back into the closet. Congrats on being cruel to a person who confided in you and trusted you, only to have you tell them that they don't matter.
I am demisexual, and I'm not afraid anymore.
