Before I hit the age of 16, I knew that there is a guy out there for me. I was a hopeless romantic. By the end of my first relationship, I felt as if I will be forever alone. I was a romantic, who felt hopeless. My mother told me she believes that if there is a person who wants to get married as badly as I do (I’m not like Anna from "Frozen" boy crazy, but I want to get married someday), God has a person for them somewhere in the world. I’m back to believing this guy is out there, but I feel like I may never meet him. I need a constant reminder that he’s out there and I will find him.

I’ve tried figuring out who it was before I’ve possibly met him. I’ve heard of this trick girls can do to possibly see who their future spouse is. The trick is, put a mirror under your pillow, and you’ll see them in your dream. I’ve tried this multiple times, with only four results that I remember.

The first was five guys I had met throughout the two years before I came to Bethany, and none of those are going to happen. The majority of this dream happened in my high school cafeteria. One guy I had met at my workplace, the summer I had this dream, was there. I turned around and my ex, one guy who I never want anything to do with again, and the guy who wanted to take my little sister to my senior prom were playing cards. My ex was screaming at the guy I never want anything to do with again, but I can’t remember what it was about, besides not the card game. Next thing I know, I’m at the amusement park I worked at that summer, and the youngest yet tallest kid in my high school graduating class was riding one of the oldest standing rides in the park, with some girl I couldn’t make out who it was; I was walking towards this ride from behind the scenes, and he flipped me off.

The second was either a dream, or a memory, I had right before waking up. It depends on whether or not scientists are wrong about people being able to read in dreams. I was looking through my notifications on Facebook on my phone, and I saw the profile picture of a certain guy who had liked a photo I posted on Facebook in real life, with his name next to the photo. I know I read this guy’s name in this dream/memory.

The third one I remember, I had a couple nights ago. I was down in the dumps for some reason, and I was balled up with my back to a wall. I couldn’t tell if I was crying or not. This guy whose head I didn’t see came down to my level and comforted me. I know he had a head; his head did not come into my field of view in this dream. Just by us down towards the ground, I could tell he was at least a little bit taller than me. This is probably the most accurate result. If this guy -- who I couldn’t tell who it was -- is my future husband, I’m taking this dream as saying God doesn’t want me to know yet.

The fourth was that same night. I was trying to talk to the guy whose Facebook profile picture I saw in the second result, but he kept trying to avoid the question.

What I am doing to remind myself he’s out there is writing letters to him to give to him the night before our wedding, or our wedding night. I’m trying to keep the letters on the theme of how I am bettering myself for our future together. I keep asking my girlfriends if what I’m doing is crazy, but I keep getting mixed results.