These days it seems our conversations with friends, encounters with co-workers, Facebook feeds, and family dinners are clutter with uninformed opinions that are obviously wrong. If you’re one of those select few people who are always right, then this list is for you. Clearly, you are all-knowing and your powers of discernment on all matters political, scientific, religious or otherwise are unmatched. Read on to discover how to preserve your unique and rare gift!
1. Choose your friends wisely.
Some wise guy said, “don’t be unequally yoked.” That is, we shouldn’t have close relationships with people who disagree with us or have a different lifestyle, since these people drag us down. (And that’s totally what the Apostle Paul meant. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!) Now, this guy had some oddball ideas, but he hits the crux of that matter that most people are blind to.
Namely, that we should pick and choose our friends with the utmost discretion. Are they liberal or conservative? Where do they spend their money? What are their favorite breakfast cereals? If they don’t have the same answer as you, toss ‘em. Friends like these will poison the perfect precious beliefs you’ve either chosen or were unreflectively indoctrinated into when you were young. Limit exposure to other ideas.
Like bad people, bad ideas are contagious. Hang around “the other side’s” camp, reading the literature, understanding the best arguments… That’s all poison for your mind. It’s best to keep reading the good old stuff and recycle the same reasons over and over again.
2. Defend your position…
…on YouTube and Facebook. These venues are perfect because there are legions of people who are wrong. It is your sacred art and duty to correct these sheep lead astray.
3. Pay homage to the straw man.
There’s nothing like tearing away legitimate counters and concerns in favor of the weakest, most basic part of a wrong idea. All those shades of gray obfuscate the true nature of the enemy. Remember, the other side is always wrong. There’s no need to deign and entertain the possibility that there might be a valid point somewhere that you might have missed.
4. Ignore cognitive dissonance.
That’s what Merriam-Webster calls “psychological conflict resulting from incongruous beliefs and attitudes held simultaneously.” It’s not real. Even if it were, that kind of conflict is only for people who are occasionally wrong.
5. Read from only one or two news sources.
Do you know how many seemingly legitimate news sources are guilty of putting out secret propaganda? Find a news source you find trustworthy. It should either be a really old paper publication (thus good because it’s “always been that way”) or a newly founded website recently (created to soapbox specifically against modern day issues).
6. Doubt means you're a bad person.
There’s nothing worse than a turncoat. Don’t give up on your long-held, intrinsically correct principles simply because people have started to question them. No number of valid points, reasonable arguments, armor piercing questions or things of that nature should ever change your mind. If they do, then you’ve lost the moral high-ground of never questioning your beliefs.
After all, it’s not like asking questions or considering yourself fallible could possibly be a healthy reaction to doubt.