The smell of fresh pasta beckoning from the kitchen. The obnoxiously loud shouting and laughter coming from the dining room. Little cousins running around the house coming dangerously close to breaking something. The “You’ve grown up so much!” comments that it seems everyone is obligated to say. It’s a family get together with the people you love the most, with cousins, aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews that always put the biggest smile on your face when you see them.
Growing up, I lived for these family dinners. Whether it was a holiday or just a regular Sunday night, seeing and being with my very loud and equally hilarious family was one of my favorite memories as a kid. I have yet to find another group of people who are anywhere near as kind-hearted, supportive, clever, and loving as my family is. They were always there for me growing up and still are to this day.
When I was 17 years old, my parents moved my siblings and me from our home in Youngstown, Ohio to Charlotte, North Carolina. As anyone who’s moved away knows, whether for college or a job, distance changes things. Whether it’s the group of friends you were close to in high school or your neighbors that you saw on a daily basis, moving away really does change the dynamic of your relationship with them. You hardly see them anymore, you don’t talk nearly as much as you used too, and all of a sudden they’re not a focal point in your life like they used to be. If you’re not careful, the same thing can happen between you and your family.
You will make plenty of relationships in your lifetime and learn to love all new people, but the one group you should always prioritize above everyone else is your family. They are the only group of people in your life who will love you no matter what, believe in and support your dreams and goals, and always be there for you whenever you need them. Many times, however, we seem to forget about them and brush them off to the side in our lives. We like to make the assumption that they will always be there. I mean, it’s too awful to think about them not being there, so we don’t. We believe they’re never going anywhere, so what’s the rush? We’ll just see them next time, right? We’ve got all the time in the world to talk to them and we have other things to do right now. I’ve thought this way since we moved and still did when I went off to school.
Then, on Mother’s Day, I received a call from my mom that my cousin had passed away that morning. All of a sudden there was no more time. No more opportunities to call or drive up and visit for a weekend. No more “next time." It’s something you can never prepare for. After getting news like that, you begin running through all the memories you had with them. All the Sundays you sat and watched football together. All the Christmases and Thanksgivings you shared. You also try to remember the last time you saw or talked to them. You think about all the times you could’ve paid them a visit or checked in with a phone call. Your feelings of regret can be almost as great as your feelings of loss.
My parents, siblings and I left for Ohio as soon as we were able to in order to spend the week with our family and say goodbye to Kyle, one of the funniest, hardest working 28-year-olds you’ll ever know. It was a rough week for all of us, a week I hope none of you have to go through. But we were all there for each other, giving each other love and support at a time we all needed it. That week reminded me of how incredible family is and how important they are in our lives. There really is no greater love than family. But still we find ourselves putting them on the side and not really spending much time talking to or being with them.
Life is a short and fragile thing. Anything can happen to anyone at any given moment. I cannot express to you all how important it is to tell your loved ones how much they mean to you. We all have busy lives to lead and it can be easy to forget about those we don’t see on a day-to-day basis. When was the last time you gave a call to your grandparents or an aunt or uncle just to say hi and see how they were doing? It’s a small gesture, but it’s something we all need to do more. I know it’s something that I need to start working on myself.
Your family was there from the beginning and will continue to be there for you until the end. Never take them for granted and never assume you’ll be able to just see them later. So please, always make time for your family, and take every opportunity you can to tell them you love them. The words that are left unspoken are the ones that will stay with you forever.
