It’s not uncommon after a relationship ends for one, or both, of the people involved to call their ex “crazy.” Feelings are hurt and emotions run high after a break-up, leaving both people feeling seriously wounded and betrayed.
It usually ends up being the person that got broken up with, and more times than not, it’s the guy who says it. It has become a default for almost every guy I know to call their ex-girlfriend or someone they were sexually/emotionally involved with, crazy.
Well, I am the “crazy” ex-girlfriend.
Since being deemed this, I have realized that the girl was probably not the problem. Before I broke up with him, we had agreed that we would never publicly drag each other on social media in the event that we broke up.
Well, he failed his part of the deal.
He took to Facebook and agreed with every nasty thing people said about me.
He changed his mind when one of my friends called him a child for blasting it on social media. Two years down the drain because I couldn’t handle being emotionally abused anymore, and I was the crazy one.
It took me a while to catch on to the meaning of “crazy.” He would tell me stories about his exes and labeled every single one of them as crazy.
It went over my head at first. Then, we would be driving through town and spot a girl he knew and without any context say, “She’s crazy.”
That’s when it hit me.
All these girls he was calling crazy, he had slept with. Sometimes he’d attach stories to them. They did this, or that or the other thing. Not like I really wanted to hear about any of it. But, there was never a solid explanation as to why she was “crazy.”
Obviously, I chose to believe him.
I had no reason to think otherwise. She had done something to wrong him or it just ended really bad because she was controlling and didn’t trust him or something like that.
Funny, that was the reason I broke up with him.
I will admit I had done my fair share of wrongdoings. It wasn’t entirely his fault for being the way he was. But, apologies were made, time passed and things had amended themselves.
Or so I thought.
I made the conscious decision to befriend him again a few months after we broke up. We were hanging out again, things were great. I had my best friend back. And then something pulled at me to look at his phone.
My contact name in his phone was “Crazy Evil Bitch.”
He had conversation after conversation with other girls calling me crazy. Now I know, I should have never looked through his phone, to begin with, and believe me when I say I am not the person to do that.
But, the cynicism was still there.
And it is always going to be there. I no longer speak to him and cut all contact. But I know I will always be the crazy ex-girlfriend. And every girl after me is going to believe him until she sees it from my side.
And trust me, honey, you will be crazy, too.
Just because they call you that does not mean you are. One year later and I am finally starting to realize this. Yes, I had my faults, but no, I am not crazy.
And he isn’t either. Sometimes, people just don’t work out.
That doesn’t make either one of them crazy.
So, the next time someone tells a story about their “crazy ex,” stop and think about what this person did to them that made them so crazy. Because I can almost guarantee you that they are actually really decent people.
