Christmas music has quite possibly become the most hated genre of music in American culture. Christmas standards plague our daily lives from Halloween all the way to New Year's, and I'm sure that, as a society, we're probably all sick of the maudlin, overdramatic Christmas songs that have plagued our lives for so long. Personally, I absolutely love Christmas music, but my favorite Christmas music often falls out of the mainstream. Whether it's a singer/songwriter emphasizing the loneliness people feel around the holidays, a 12-minute epic centered around a magical Christmas equine, or one of the most festive hip-hop posse cuts of all time, the alternative side of Christmas music is definitely something worth digging into, and here are short little blurbs about my twenty favorite alternative Christmas songs.
1. John Fahey - "What Child Is This?"
A New Possiblity is Fahey's best selling album, and "What Child Is This?" perfectly explains why. It's a faithful, easy to listen rendition of a Christmas classic that is just as intelligent and technically complex as any other Fahey piece.
2. Kate Bush - "December Will Be Magic Again"
In between the epic, lush Never for Ever and the anxious, spindly The Dreaming, Bush managed to find time to release "December Will Be Magic Again", her only Christmas single. It's definitely one of her lesser songs, but it's still one of the most unique, vocally fantastic Christmas songs ever recorded.
3. LCD Soundsystem - "Christmas Will Break Your Heart"
LCD Soundsystem emerged from a four year hiatus with "Christmas Will Break Your Heart", one of their most subdued tracks. It's not very danceable, but it's a brilliantly subdued and memorable piano rock ballad.
4. John Zorn feat. Mike Patton - "The Christmas Song"
John Zorn is one of the most acclaimed experimental musicians living today, and his Jewish heritage is something very prominent in most of his works. So, the thought of a musician like Zorn releasing a pleasant, entirely normal Christmas album is incredibly funny, but A Dreamers Christmas is actually quite good. Zorn's rendition of Nat King Cole's "A Christmas Song", featuring an incredibly subdued Mike Patton, is festive and beautiful.
Low - "Just Like Christmas"
Low's Christmas EP is just as melancholic as their normal slowcore work, but the aura is incredibly festive, best exemplified on the driving "Just Like Christmas", featuring fantastic sleigh bell-based percussion.
Wham! - "Last Christmas"
This is easily my favorite canonical Christmas song. Wham! and George Michael are still incredibly underappreciated in the grand scheme of things, and this song is as well. Michael's vocals are beautiful, and his songwriting is staggeringly complex for a one-off Christmas song.
7. Phoebe Bridgers - "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas"
Fresh off the release of Stranger in the Alps, Bridgers recorded a one-off cover of "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas". It's already one of the most melancholic Christmas songs, and Bridgers manages to make it about ten times sadder.
8. Carpenters - "I'll Be Home for Christmas"
Karen Carpenter could make the phone book sound like the most depressing piece of text in the world, so it's no wonder that she managed to make "I'll Be Home for Christmas" such a major tear-jerker. The arrangement is maudlin as sin, but Carpenter's vocals are pure, world-weary, and woefully melancholic.
9. Julian Casablancas - "I Wish It Was Christmas Today"
Leave it to the most self-consciously cool rock star of the 21st century to record such a beautifully uncool Christmas song. "I Wish It Was Christmas Today" is a song from Saturday Night Live, and the joke was just how hilariously uncool the lyrics are. Casablancas knows this, and his rendition of the song is as triumphant as it is tongue-in-cheek.
10. Vince Guaraldi - "Skating"
A Charlie Brown Christmas is my all-time favorite Christmas special, and "Skating" is my favorite song from it's storied soundtrack. The piano melody is beautiful, the brushed percussion sounds like snowflakes falling, it's absolutely gorgeous.
11. Cotton Top Mountain Sanctified Singers - "Christ Was Born on Christmas Morn"
Many of the songs on this list are entirely secular, but Christmas is a Christian holiday, so it only feels right to talk about at least one religious Christmas song. But none of that maudlin, melancholic crap, the best religious music is jaunty, spiritual, and gospel influenced, and the lovely "Christ Was Born on Christmas Morn" checks all of those boxes.
12. Esquivel - "Snowfall"
Esquivel was one of the '60s greatest exponents of cheesy space age pop, so it only makes sense that he'd eventually try his hand at Christmas music. "Snowfall" is undeniably, ungodly cheesy, but that's the beauty of it.
13. The Ventures - "Sleigh Ride"
Surf rock is a genre so intrinsically linked to summer that a surf rock Christmas album seems antithetical, but the Ventures manage to pull it off. The dreamy, spacey sound the Ventures pioneered really helps their cover of "Sleigh Ride" stick out.
14. Joni Mitchell - "River"
As her music career took off, Joni Mitchell moved from Canada to California, where she recorded her seminal record Blue. "River", the album's most notable track, is deeply wistful and melancholic, with Mitchell feeling foreign in alien at Christmastime in a place without snow. Despite the depressive nature of the song, it never fails to get me in the spirit.
15. Kanye West feat. CyHi the Prince & Teyana Taylor - "Christmas in Harlem"
I like the 7-minute full version of this track better, but that's not on YouTube, so the single version will have to do. "Christmas in Harlem" is one of Kanye's most underappreciated songs, featuring a festive beat from Hit-Boy and some of the most melancholic Christmas lyrics this side of Joni Mitchell.
16. Darlene Love - Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home)"
"Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home)" is the only original song written for Phil Spector's seminal Christmas album, and what a song it is. Well the other songs on the compilation are easily as electrifying, Love's vocals and Spector's arrangements combine to create something not of this world.
17. Donny Hathaway - "This Christmas"
Hathaway's passionate yet welcoming and warming vocals are perfect for one of the most subdued, welcoming Christmas songs. The groove is laid-back, Hathaway's vocals are brilliant, and the arrangments suit them both perfectly.
18. The Residents - "sa
"Santa Dog" is technically a collection of four different songs, but they all flow together to create one cohesive piece, so it absolutely counts here. The Residents are arguably the most legendary musical anarchists, and this was the start of their story. They take familiar motifs from Christmas music and tear them to pieces. It's weird, to say the least.
19. Sufjan Stevens - "Christmas Unicorn"
Stevens is easily the best Christmas musician of the modern era. Not only does he have two compilations filled to the brim with Christmas classics, but his non-Christmas albums still give off a very cozy, festive vibe. From Silver & Gold, his second Christmas compilation, "Christmas Unicorn" is his best Christmas songs and one of his best songs overall. It's adorable, comfy, beautiful, and incredibly experimental and progressive. Pretty good for a Christmas song about a unicorn.
20. The Pogues feat. Kirsty MacColl - "Fairytale of New York"
This is probably my favorite Christmas song of all time. I'm usually not too keen on celtic rock and punk music, but the Pogues have always been an exception. They have a staggeringly good discography, and "Fairytale of New York" is arguably their crowning achievement. The vocals from Shane MacGowan and Kirsty MacColl are biting and acidic, and the chorus is monumentous.
