My writing has always been very bright, happy, and optimistic for the most part. (If you haven't ready it before you totally should; I'm not above shamelessly self-promoting or anything). But if you know me, you've probably noticed that I am (annoyingly) optimistic and I can find some silver lining most of the time. I am very fortunate that I suck at wallowing in self-pity or letting depressing things impact me and my outlook on life. Staying upbeat is something a lot of people struggle with on a daily basis. However, while it's important to keep a positive attitude in almost everything you do, it's important to realize and come to grips with the fact that not everything can be hunky dory all the time. Once you accept the tough things, it's a lot easier to figure out the best way to handle them and stop them from taking over your life.
So, here's a list of things that I have personally struggled with, as well as things people I know have struggled with.
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1. Deciding on a major.
Unless you found your calling long before college picking a major is crazy stressful. Then you get to worry about actually getting in to your major. College is great though right?
2. Finding a passion.
Some people found the thing they truly loved when they were just kids, some people don't find it until they're full grown adults. I personally remember searching for so long to find the one thing that never ceased to make me happy and something I could really put my heart and soul into. You'll find it one day and you probably won't even be expecting it!
3. Breaking up with someone.
Sometimes it's a relief, but most of the time it's awkward, depressing, and down right painful. Don't put it off though! Prolonging a failing relationship is unfair to you and your SO and will ultimately make it ten times worse.
4. Being broken up with.
Again, depressing, awkward, painful. But no matter what, it's not the end of the world. You have family and friends who love you dearly, who will help you through the rough patches, and you will meet the one for you in due time. You're not going to die alone because the person you had started planning a future with leaves; you still have a future. Chances are, the new one is even better.
5. Failing grades.
Every now and again there's one class you just can't stand. It doesn't matter how hard you work or how much you study, it's just not quite enough to get you a passing grade. It's okay. It will happen to everyone. It might set you back a little bit, but you will make it through college eventually, I promise.
6. Social anxiety.
This is not something I personally have struggled with but it's an issue for a lot of people and I repeat: It is OK. It's OK to take the alone time you need, it's OK to leave early because your social battery has run out, it is OK to not want to go to big parties because that's too many people you don't know. Your friends will understand, they will still love you just as much as before, and you are completely valid.
7. Finding motivation.
You ever have so much you need to do that you just decide to take a nap? Yeah, me too. Sleep is a very common coping mechanism (especially for college students) when stress levels are high. It can be really hard to make yourself do something simple like doing the dishes, or putting away your laundry. God forbid you have to make a doctors appointment or go to the post office. If your list of things to do is making your brain shut down, take a minute to breathe, pick the easiest or shortest item on your to-do list and focus on that one thing. It gets easier to keep going if you can just find the energy to start. (easier said than done, I know.)
8. Being honest with people.
Whether it's confessing your feelings to your crush, confronting your roommate about their dirty dishes, or telling your parents they've done something wrong (or that you've done something wrong), can be anxiety inducing. But it's never as bad as your imagination makes you believe it will be. Remind yourself why you're wanting to have this conversation and just spit it out.
9. Not being self-deprecating.
No one is harder on you than you. Maybe that's not actually true in some cases, however the more you put yourself down, the worse you're going to feel. Even if you're making self-deprecating jokes, making them often and consistently will actually lower your self-esteem. Please love yourself, cause there are so many people out there who love you just the way you are.
10. Being OK with looking silly.
One of the most common reasons people quit something they aren't good at is because they're worried they look dumb. I cannot tell you how many times people have told me that about dancing. Stop it. First off, If you're trying something new, you're already doing amazing because you're giving it a shot and that's more than everyone else sitting at home on their couch watching TV. Secondly, it's your first time. OF COURSE YOU AREN'T GOOD AT IT. NO ONE IS GOOD AT ANYTHING THE FIRST TIME THEY TRY IT. Most people aren't good at things until they stop caring about how they look and just give it their all! Thirdly, there's a 99% chance that no one is looking at you or even noticing what you're doing. Believe it or not, most people are not concerned with your skill level at this one particular thing. If you just focus on having fun and not on how you think you look, you'll have a much better time with whatever you're doing.
It's so hard to not let things like this get to you, but honestly, you're doing just fine. It is OK to struggle with things; everyone does. Most of this list came from personal experience and I wanted to make this list because I want you to know that whatever you're struggling with, you are not alone. Someone is in a similar situation and even if you can't find anyone who has dealt with what you're dealing with it doesn't mean they can't listen and help you through it anyway. You're doing just fine, don't let life get you down. You're still alive so you're not doing too bad.
