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Fiction: I Was Alone

Life leads you down a road, but if you don't know where you're headed or why you're headed there, the feeling of being alone is often too strong to handle.

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Fiction: I Was Alone
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I found myself walking down a road one day and then realizing that I couldn’t remember why I was walking or where I was headed, I stopped and turned around to see how far I'd come. Looking back suddenly made me feel very sad. The ache of missing something or someone was there inside me and I felt...I felt like my life no longer had any meaning. I stood there staring down at the road – pondering this feeling for quite a while – when it clicked in my mind. I did a quick, complete turn only to find that, as I imagined, not another living soul was in sight. I was alone, staring at the sky. The heat of the day became worse and my body began to grow tired from lack of motivation to move. The strain of being alone was too much to handle. After taking a few more steps in my original direction, I decided that I no longer cared if I made any progress at all, and so I sat down on the side of the road. As I became lost in my thoughts of why I was there, I became more and more engulfed with the loneliness that was creeping around me. I was so absorbed in these thoughts that when I suddenly heard a noise behind me, it made me jump! Not caring enough about who or what might be there, however, I settled back down without even turning my head and exhaled slowly.

"What are you doing sitting on the ground?" A voice said. "Don't you have somewhere to get to?"

I shook my head. My eyes started to burn as tears threatened to pour out. "Na...no," I mumbled under my breath, letting my head plop into my waiting hands.

"Yes you do," the voice replied, "and I do believe that I happen to be going in the same direction. Many are."

I lifted my eyes and turned my head to look up into the face that belonged to the voice. Familiarity struck, like a bolt of lightning. I knew that face, but I wasn't sure how or where from. It was like my memory had been locked in a room with but a keyhole to peek through as I attempted to remember. His gaze locked with mine. This person, this man, I knew was supposed to play a big role in my future. He already had in my past. I felt it, but I'd forgotten. My face grew puzzled at that feeling, yet I was unable to drop my gaze. A hand reached out to me, and I stood up. He took a quick glance back and then smiled as he began speaking again. “You're not alone, little one."

"What do you mean?" I looked back at the road I'd already traveled on. There were people. Lots of people. Why hadn't I noticed anyone else on the road before? I was so sure I'd been alone. Some of them were walking faster as they caught up to others who'd started slowing down.They were offering to help them keep going.

I looked back at the man. He was still smiling. "At some point, everyone feels what you're feeling now." He grew very thoughtful. "Someone is always here, even when you think you're all alone. I am here. Listening -- always have been."

Somehow, hearing this made me feel more safe and happy. It felt like...hope. The tears that only threatened to come before now spilled out freely, but for a different reason this time. I wanted to tell him that somehow, I knew where I wanted to go again. I was grateful for being reminded of my goals, but a quiet “thank you” was all that came out when I tried to speak.

He understood. I hugged him then. After letting go, I saw tears glistening in his own eyes. He reached down and grabbed my hand. He nodded to me as if we'd just shared a secret, and then I started down the road again. I had to let his hand go, but when I searched deep inside myself, I knew he wasn't going to ever let go of mine.

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