I’m going to preface this by saying that I am an introverted extrovert. I can be the quietest, shyest person in the room, or I can be the person talking to everyone that comes into sight for hours on end. To be honest, I don’t know which one I’m going to be until the moment strikes (sorry friends who wanted me to be extroverted on a day I was introverted).
With that being said, I think there is a lot to be said on the concept of being alone versus being lonely. A lot of times people assume that if you are alone that one, you are lonely, and two, that you are alone not by choice. I’m hear to tell you that those are both false assumptions. While yes, those could be true, I have found that more often than not, being alone is 100% a personal choice.
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I am someone who values alone time, and think I would seriously lose my mind without it. Going to school with 20,000 plus other students, living within one square mile of everyone, biking with hundreds of other students, sitting in a lecture hall with at least 100 next to me, eating meals together, and even sleeping in the same room as one or two people can be severely overwhelming. To me, being alone is actually a huge gift in a life where I am surrounded by others.
This is the point where all the extroverts exit the page because they disagree and feel the need to always be with their friends, to always be doing something. I have plenty of friends like this, and I applaud their energy, enthusiasm, and ability to stay sane.
But for me, when I am able to be by myself, whether that is getting up before everyone else and eating breakfast alone or sitting on the beach for a few minutes in between classes, that is when I am able to recharge, and look deeper within myself. I can hear myself think clearly and organize everything I have running through my head, and honestly just having some peace and quiet for five minutes changes everything.
Doing things alone is not a bad thing. For a long time, especially before you get to college, doing things alone always categorized you as a “loner” or even a loser. Eating alone would be the death of a high school student, but now if you have that chance to be alone for a little bit it’s a huge blessing. Now, we have to realize that a huge majority of our adult lives are going to consistent of doing things alone.
Going to the grocery store alone, travelling alone, eating meals alone, it’s all part of life. At one point or another, being alone is going to have to stop being looked at negatively because it’s a part of life.
There have been times where I won’t go to hang out with friends if I’m feeling drained or needing time to myself, and a lot of people don’t understand this or feel like they are missing out, but really I’m doing what I need to do for me. Selfish? Maybe, but through my times of being alone, I’ve learned a lot about myself, worked through some personal issues, and really recharged and was able to give my friends and family even more attention after taking a little bit of my day to myself.
Life can be draining, and hard, and frustrating, and if you don’t break away from it, you’ll drown in your surroundings. Treat yourself, take some time alone, even if that means alone with Netflix, and relax. Don’t feel bad or lame or lonely for being alone, take it in stride and find your own groove, because one day college will be over and real life will begin, and there is a whole lot of alone that goes on in that world, so you better be prepared. Sometimes all you need to make you feel better is a few moments with just you.
