As Henry David Thoreau wrote in his famous work of philosophy, Walden, "I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude." Lonely and alone, while often misused to convey the same meaning, have very different connotations. Lonely is an adjective and a feeling that someone can possess. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, lonely is defined as "sad at the thought that one is alone; having a feeling of solitariness." According to this definition, someone can be lonely while surrounded by other people. However, alone is defined as "being unaccompanied, by oneself. While someone can be alone and lonely, that is not always the case and is a common misconception about those who spend time alone.
Contrary to popular belief, solitude is an important part of life and many lessons can be learned from spending time alone. As a person who loves people, I used to feel bored when I spent time alone. But I now find solace and comfort in being alone. It allows me to recharge, learn about myself and do things that I truly want to do. Through spending time alone I have become a more independent person. And while friends kindheartedly tease for wanting to stay home alone, it is an integral part of my life and personal development.
During my sophomore year I began to worry that I was not living my life to its fullest because I liked to spend some time by myself rather than with other people. But I soon realized that my time spent alone was just as valuable, if not more valuable, than my time spent with other people. I was still active and participated in various pastimes that I found interesting and fun. I was not missing out on life. Rather I was living in a different way than the people I saw around me at school living, which made me feel weird at first. But once I began doing what I wanted to do without thinking about what other people were doing, I became infinitely happier.
Through being alone I discovered and began to utilize self-care methods such as meditation. Meditation allows me to relieve stress and forget about the rest of the world, while also strengthening my mind. It is a wonderful way to take a step back from my life and remind myself of what is truly important to me and what I should strive to do each day. Learning to unwind in this way also cultivated a sense of self-love in my attitude. Whenever I began to doubt myself in school or other parts of my life I started to repeat a mantra to myself. "Treat yourself like you would treat your daughter. You are doing the best you can. You are nowhere near where you want to be in the world, and you have so much to learn, but you are doing the best you can to reach your goals." Reminding myself of this each day helped me strive to be the best person I can be without worrying about how I am perceived.
Through solitude I also learned more about my interests. I began to self-educate on topics I found interesting through taking online courses and reading articles from various websites and journals. This was relaxing but also exercised my mind and helped me focus on what I am truly interested in that we may not learn in school.
Overall, alone time is important. Sometimes, the fear of missing out can be very pressing and we force ourselves to spend time with people, even if we are exhausted and really need to spend time alone. It is important for us to recognize our emotional, physical, and mental needs and respect them. If I had broken my leg, I would not force myself to run five miles. Similarly, if I feel socially overwhelmed and exhausted after a long day, I should not force myself to go out with friends. We all need alone time, whether we are extroverted or introverted and there is no shame in staying home alone.
