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Friendships

Saying Goodbye To My "Almost" Relationship

All good things must come to an end.

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Dear you,

I met you at a time in my life where I was extremely fragile. I had been sick for over a month and came to your place of work to be nursed back to health. When we first met, I tried extremely hard not to fall for you. I didn't WANT to fall for you, because I KNEW it would just end up in heartbreak. However, after being there for a few weeks and seeing you nearly every night, I started to inevitably fall for you. I tried to hide it (miserably, I'll admit) at first because I was scared of what your reaction would be if you found out. However, after some time, you found out. I will never forget the night that you came into my room at the start of your shift. You said, "We need to have a conversation." and I knew that you had found out. Turns out, adding you on Facebook while I was still there was probably not the best idea ever. However, you were completely cool about it. You told me that after I left, we could continue talking and see where it lead. That was almost a year ago. Over the past year, you have become one of my best friends. You are my "person," as Meredith Grey would say. You are the person I immediately run to when I have news, whether it is good or bad. You are the first person I want to talk to when I'm having a bad day and need a laugh. I miss you tremendously when I can't see you, which is quite often given the distance between us now. I know that you said that you weren't ready for a relationship, and that's okay. I cannot blame you for not wanting to be in another relationship after your marriage went so badly. I know that you have a child to protect, and I commend you on putting him first. However, I can no longer hide my feelings for you. I am in love with you. I have been for some time now. I tried to keep myself from falling in love because I knew how it would end, but here I am. You are an amazing person, and I hope you know that. You have made me feel so beautiful and worthwhile to have around, even when I didn't feel that way. You have been there for me through a lot of tough times, and I can never thank you enough for that. In spite of how I feel about you, I have to let you go. I can't continue to act like we're just friends one minute, then be all over each other the next minute. It's not fair to myself or you. I want you to know that this last year has meant so much to me, and I will never forget the time we have spent together. I honestly can't believe it's ending, but I think it's for the best. Maybe one day we can talk again and be friends, but not for the time being. I need time to heal, and so do you. I also want you to know that I am not saying any of this to hurt you. In fact, I am trying to do the exact opposite. I know it hurts you to feel like you are leading me on, so I am letting you go. I hope you find someone who will love and appreciate you more than I ever could. Thank you for being my light in the darkness, my shoulder to cry on, my best friend, my person. I will always, always, always be here when/if you need someone to talk to. Please take care of yourself and that little boy.

With all the love and appreciation in the world,

The girl who fell in love at the wrong time

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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