When it comes to the LBGTQ+ acronym, you will see a lot of variations that refer to the same community. Some variations are LGBT+, LGBTQ+, LGBTQIA+, and so on. Most people are familiar with LGBT or LGBTQ and can agree on what those letters stand for. A few can even agree that "I" stands for "intersex." Then there is the most controversial letter of all: A. Is it "a for asexual" or "a for ally"?
The LGBTQ+ community consists of people who go against what has been traditionally accepted as the norm. There are people who are attracted to the same sex and people who aren't attracted to anyone at all. Some people feel like they were assigned the wrong gender at birth, and others feel that their gender is fluid. This is why A cannot stand for "ally." An ally can be someone who is straighter than a washboard and completely fit the archetype of "normal." An ally can be someone who has never and will never face the struggles of the LGBTQ+ community.
When we support a cause, it does not make us a member of the community we support. Fighting against racism does not make you another race. Believing in women's rights does not make you a woman. Being an LGBTQ+ ally does not make you a member of the LBGTQ+ community.
The most important thing about being an ally is not taking the spotlight from the community that needs it. Some of the problems that the LGBTQ+ community face is exclusive to them. You can be an ally yet never be subjected to the same judgment and discrimination. Those that directly experienced the struggles of being LGBTQ+ are the strongest voices that can best represent the community.
There is a place for allies among the community, but not in the community itself. As an ally, your job is to stand with us, not speak for us. It's hard to speak for the community if you've never experienced its problems yourself.
